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I don't understand much of your post, but I want to try to help. You say you're looking for an LTR and you've been finding men to date who "seem to resonate with your new found energy." Yet: "I cannot find men around my age with who want a term relationship." And men w/out make you suspicious: "I need some assurances on why would these men were never married in the first place or had families" You think there's something 'wrong' w/ the men who've never been married and/ or had -; there's something wrong w/ the men who've been there/ done that, but don't want those things/ an LTR with you. In this logical loop, there's something wrong everyone even you!: "I cannot think like a. My thinking is little clouded because I am a woman." Frankly, I don't know any woman who'd ever say such a thing (esp. not one in her 40s but I'll remit my back-burner inklings, re: your gender ). Your 'perceptions' are deceiving you. Forget the self-betraying mess about maturity/ immaturity/ age; forget about (existent or not); forget marriage. These ideals/ 'plans' are disallowing you from getting in on the ground floor w/ these men. You come in w/ too preconceptions, jumping too far ahead in your mind. In this way, you cut these men (and yourself) off at the knees, and ultimately fall back on your old 'flight'-oriented habits (though they're manifesting in a new configuration, they're still there). Get to know the men you date think of them as new friends. Spend time, talk to them about their/ your interests, feel them out, and get a sense of their attitude. Learn about them on their own terms. don't try to define them based on airy nothings. And avoid discussing term goals, past relationships/ residual fears in the early mtgs. (It could be that the once-married/ men who have sniff you out as a desperate ring-seeker.) Keep interactions in the present. sexy lady sunbathing on deckMy first experience was last year at the place I lived in Brooklyn. The bathroom was quiet and I wanted a good hot shower in peace. Well! That was to NOT be!! I got all my clothes off and stepped under the hot spray. I felt calm and relaxed. I closed my eyes. I felt oooooh! Then I felt a hand on my but! OH! When I opened my eyes, IT WAS A NAKED SPANISH GUY!! HE WAS HARD AND BUILT!! I WAS -!! He stepped in the shower and quickly pressed his lips against mine!! He was nasty!! his tongue was all in me!! He than replaced his mouth with a hand and turned me around and began FINGERING MY HOLE!!! I TRIED TO SCREAM BUT HE HELD MY FACE TIGHT!!! He than grabbed some soap and fisted me a bit than his cock!! I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTED TO DO!!! I WAS TIGHT!!! AND I HAD NOT GONE TO THE BATHROOM YET!!! HE THAN RAMMED INTO ME AND I ALMOST PASSED OUT BUT HE HELD ME UP!!! I KNEW I WAS BLEEDING!!! HE PLUNGED ME AND I WAS PARALYZED!!!! He came against my leg and almost passed out himself!! I than smelled the stuff come out of me. He quickly washed himself as I fell to the ground!! I got up about 20 minutes later, finished my shower, dried off and left the area. I passed out in my bed. I woke up and I had to quickly change my underwears and shorts. The stuff didn't cease to come out as I slept. I had to throw them away. MY ASS . IT BLED FOR ALL DAY!!!! black people meet
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