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I'm guessing that your quest for a so-ed "proper orgasm" is what got you poz and in this supposed pickle in the first place. You seem really, and I mean REALLY set in your ways. Especially if you consider there being only one kind of "proper orgasm" and one way of getting there. Especially if you are planning on being monogamous and going the haul with this guy, I recommend expanding your sexual horizons VASTLY. Try considering that what constitutes a "proper orgasm" is only in your mind. Try considering that there are, ways to get to a "proper orgasm". Try considering that a couple can have a VERY connected and valuable sexual experience in which no orgasm is achieved. Maybe once you get to that point, you even discover that there are other kinds of orgasms, some of which involve no ejaculation, but are very intense, involve the entire body, and can last for minutes. Get with the program. If you are as much of a one-trick pony in bed as you sound like you are, your sex life with this boy get very dull after a couple of years. Under current circumstances, it doesn't sound like you are suited for a term relationship and even if you are, it sounds like you are a poor candidate for a sero-discordant relationship because you are addicted to barebacking. friends and lovers 20 Herschel, Saskatchewan 20Look this is a cycle. Small suck energy like a vampire. She's gone from being just your wife, to being a mother to 4, with all the volunteer efforts that go with it. She barely has time to brush her teeth in the morning, and at this point, sex has fallen in importance to "GOTTA HAVE IT" to a non-unpleasant-but-necessary chore. She is probably aware that her body is reflecting pregnancies, but is perhaps a bit overwhelmed at the work needed in order to get back to square one. I can understand your for her to want to enjoy it, because by golly, sex is more fun when BOTH people are enjoying it. One thing you want to watch out for is to keep from insisting that it's no fun unless SHE'S having multiple orgasms it can incur 'performance anxiety'. That kind of pressure is counterproductive "oh, god, not only does he want sex, I also have to perform! Geeez!" It's not how YOU feel about her, it's how SHE feels about HERSELF. If she looks in the mirror and doesn't like what she sees, she might be feeling that "you're just saying that" in order to insure availability of sex. And, unfortunately, buying her the canvas and supplies probably just reminded her of all the things she doesn't have time for, now I'm sure she appreciate the thought, but in one sense, it was just a reminder of something she's not doing well, either. (Did I say any of this was rational? No, I didn't :-) But there it is.) As the get older and she's able to catch her breath now and then, she'll be able to focus on herself a little more. You sound like a decent guy. Please remember, though, that men and women don't approach sex the same way. Women need to be emotionally engaged first. Try giving her a romantic evening without the expectation of sex a "date night". Encourage her to take an evening off each week for an class. Send her off for a pedicure. Bring her flowers "just because." Are you sure you're giving her enough time to "warm up", so to speak, before sex? For example, sexy massages, where you show appreciate for her body, would be nice and if she falls asleep in the middle of the massage, that tells you something about her energy level, anyway. Sex cycles in a marriage you're at a low point now (and even then, you're STILL getting laid, so don't whine too much.) It come back. free dating advice
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