TEXTING BUDDY!! w4w Hi there! I'm looking for a texting buddy. Strictly friends! Email me your number and let's get to know each other ;) Array im moving to portland need a connection thereBlack male looking to tare it up! m4w I am a successful black male with a big dick. This isn't fake or spam nor am I a bot or a perv. I am just looking for a good time and for any ladies that want some good dick. I don't have time for games or anything that isn't fun. I work very hard and I like to play just as hard. So ladies hit me up with some info about you and maybe a number and hopefully we can get something started. And remember I am real. So please don't flag just cause I am honest. I am a man that knows what he wants. Age and race doesn't matter!! Can't wait to hear from you!! personal assistant needed in household setting Barooga area local dating
any 420 friendly females Seeking older gentleman In search of a seasoned man that appreciates the gentle ways of a woman. One who is not harsh but kind..who is a gentleman in every aspect of life. Wanting to share dinner dates..movies and drives through the countryside. Start out as friends and see if anything develops. Must have clean record..no drugs/smoker/drinker.
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A Unique Trait I'm looking for someone awesome. Someone who will appreciate the things in life that happen daily, not just the big events. Someone who jokes often, and is hard to offend. Someone who is a bit nerdy, but doesn't get so sucked into their nerd hobbies that you're embarrassed to show them to the outside world. A person whom likes to eat a home cooked meal,cuddle and watch a movie at home as much as they enjoy a trip to the beach or to mini-golf or to play laser tag.
That would be totally awesome, fo realz.
I have something odd that I like in women though, and it's not something that is easily known or something that I think should be brought up on a first date. I am a fan of women who can uh, squirt.
Now, it puts me at odds with myself to be honest. I try to be a gentleman and bringing this up with someone I don't know or haven't met seems to be against what I am. This isn't to say that I don't think it should be discussed, just not at first. Nor would it be that I'm just looking for a woman who can do that and nothing more. I'm not really into FWB or one night stand situations.
A bit about me. 5'6", I'm on the husky side (190lbs). I work out some, but it's mostly to improve my strength and not my form. I have a fairly good fashion sense and try to keep myself looking pretty good. I'm quick to laugh and hard to anger. I'm a bit smarter than your average bear but I try not to make people feel bad/stupid most the time. Sometimes they deserve it. :p I'm very honest and I'll say things that get me in trouble if I'm asked my opinion. I'm also smoke free and drug free, and you need to be the same.
Hobbies include a bunch of nerdy things (board games, D&D, video gaming with friends, etc), reading, watching TV series and just hanging out with folks in general.
Sorry for not providing a real picture of myself. If you send me something about yourself and a picture, I'd be glad to return the favor. :)
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"- DeLucci and the Miracle of Life." One morning around 5 am 22 year old DaLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors ed the. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. married woman in Standard Illinois IL
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first." The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had 12 twenty pound crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs on her." Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow!" nsa orgasm guaranteedI did IT recruiting, and it leaves you feeling so hollow. I know lots of nurses, male and female, and they always feel great, though tired. But there is lots of ways to use your nursing skills other than just floor care, the variety thrill you. Best of luck adult hookups
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