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looking for fun nsa asap of wanting to leave. Can't find the post, but somewhere in this thread the OP said she's been wanting to leave for a time. More importantly, there's more than one kind of blind spot. You and others accept her statement that he's a great guy and it's a relationship. Yet how often do we posters who say: My relationship is PERFECT, except for cheating/lying/drinking/violence or some other horrifying issue. While those be extreme cases, the fact remains: a lot of people have trouble seeing their relationship objectively. The OP has given it years. There are dozens of subtle ways people can suck the life out of each other. Read about conflict averse relationships: they can be stifling, inauthentic, deadly boring, and hell to get out of because both parties are too damn nice. The OP doesn't really know what's wrong, but feels like she's in prison. That doesn't necessarily mean she or her partner is the bad guy. But to me, it DEFINITELY means she should move on. ago I had a relationship with an uber nice guy who was crazy about me. I remember struggling to explain why I wanted to leave and am grateful to a friend who told me I didn't need a reason, didn't owe the world an explanation. I now that he was clingy, dependent, hadn't developed his own personality and was feeding off my energy/interests/ideas. Nicest effing in the world, but I'd have been institutionalized if I'd married him. girls Des moines ns
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.. why the separation. Multiple factors. 1. I'm working class born and raised, and believe that an adult should work and contribute. Ex does not want to work, despite both education and experience. I do not agree with it. 2. I'm a "keep the kitchen/bathroom etc clean kind of guy". Not anal about it, but kitchen counters get cleaned daily, and floors about every 3 weeks. The ex is the exact opposite. Fortunately the house we share has full in-law apartment in basement.. so two kitchens in house. The them "dad's kitceh" and "mom's kitchen" now. Dad's is clean. Mom's.. well.. there was a spill on one spot of the floor on July 31 , the day we separated. It's still there. I kid you not. 3. I prefer non-processed food, and meals cooked from scratch. Not only for me, but the as well. When I make their lunch they have a lunch. When the ex does, well.. lets just say it's "processed food of the day". 4. I believe in a level of chores, responsibility and rules for the. Nothing overboard, and more lax than parents. Ex believe parent should do everything for the. So.. it's dad that taught 9 year old to make scrambled eggs.. egg-in-a-hole. and others. And its dad that taught the how to do laundry. The list goes on and on. You don't have enough time, and neither do I. Lets just say that my (both of whom are academiy and artistiy gifted) NEED me here for a while longer yet. looking to cuddle and chillAnd I have been thinking about how to help give a spot of advice. Him being in constant "Dominate" mode could be a lot of things, but a wise Dominant knows how to care for their submissive. And if backing off is something you need, it is something he should do. You have a personal identity. And right now that identity is asking no it is demanding its time in the. And there is nothing wrong with taking time to be yourself. That does not mean you are not submissive, it means you need time to be YOU. If you do *anything* day in and day out for 6 years you need a break. For fucks sake, prisoners get to leave their cage at least one hour a day for a mental break to walk the yard. I agree with Sphynx in that you need to sit him down and tell him that the relationship is in serious danger if he does not listen to you and what you NEED, and this is not a "want". It isn't a matter of him being the dominant, it is a matter of you using the power you ultimately hold. You don't *have* to submit. A good Dominant worth their salt EARNS their submissive's submission each and every time. And if he is so wrapped up in himself he is actively not listening to you then he is no longer earning your submission. So don't give it. You are not being bratty, you are being a human being and demanding your rights to be respected. He needs to be reminded of his place. It is something he needs to realize that he can lose by always demanding his way and not taking into consideration of the person he says he cares for. The best quote I can think of to give you is this, from Wars: -: "The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more systems slip through your fingers." And you are the system that slip through his fingers if he continues to not listen to you. man wants woman
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