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Hmm. I think I tend to be on the good girl + playful/cheerful side of the spectrum. Good for me would be clear, honorable, straightforward behavior as much as possible on both sides. Then folks paying attention and respecting the boundaries of the current play and person. Sometimes I am bouncy/cheerful/naughty/playful, but there is no malice in it. Although sometimes it is obnoxious and I get asked to tone it down. When I sub, I'm a good girl and try my best. Whether that is giving honest reactions or following requests. When I dom, my good girl lets me "-" them. Pure reactions from the heart and eyes. This is what I want. This is the energy that I feed on. How do we deal with undesireable kinds of behavior? After much trial and error, we have a "-" system. Sometimes (it could be for anything, not just bdsm stuff) one person "flags" to indicate "need your temporary attention on something." Having it be something neutral that both of us use, reduces the that someone takes it personally and gets hurt feelings. In the scene, I have seen other dynamics though, including what looks like both dom and sub enjoying/wanting bad girl or very topping from the bottom patterns. As as all the folks involved are on the same and consent to whatever the parameters are, yay! More power to them. When there are contradictory views/goals/attitudes, time for renegotiation or a possible parting of ways. Reims women wanting sexdealing with gives me good knowledge about what is going on. Her 8 year old is feeling a lot of sadness about the divorce, Daddy being gone and having mommy giving her attention to somebody now. 8 year olds, especially girls, need a lot of attention and someone to listen. They feel very alone and isolated when they are put second in line. My daughter leaves the house when her mom's bf is there, it doesn't matter who he is. It is just human little girl nature. The poster is more concerned about who is at fault whether than how to help her daughter. Maybe I worry about -'s feelings too much? I would like to ask how after the seperation she got remarried, how the daughter knew the new guy before they lived together. Remarrying is a very huge step in a life, especially after a divorce and especially if she is an only. midget date
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