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seem a bit too rigid I mean, they seem to be like orders given, and not a give-and-take agreement between partners. You have been raised to expect certain behavior from others, like being on time, etc. but why is YOUR way the only right way? Others were raised differently. Frankly, you sound controlling. I'd that set of rules, too. It reminds me of the mindset of of those from Native American ancestry, and several other cultures, where the passage of time is seen as an endless cycle with no definite beginning or ending. Tell a Native American to meet at a certain time, and they show up an hour or two early or late. To *them*, they are on time because "6:00 in the morning" means "sometime around sunrise". Is it wrong? Of course not. It's just not YOU. Trust always goes both ways, and goes with respect. If I know it's important to my spouse for me to be on time, then I'll try to meet that expectation. In return, he tries to be more understanding of my need to fudge the time. It really just comes down to picking your battles which ones are worth the argument (being on time for work) versus which ones can be let go (having dinner ready on time). For the most part, if I'm timely on MOST matters, then it's easier to trust my judgement when I need to be late. As for your last part, I fully agree with it. However, there has to be some compromise and understanding of your partner's mindset, too. Like sphynx said above, if a lower-priority person is having a temporary need for my attention, I'll expect my family and husband to understand the change of focus for a little while. As as the general welfare of my (1) husband and and (2) home and finances are not THREATENED by my hiatus, then they should understand. In other words, I'm not going to apologize for not cooking your dinner one night while I'm sitting by a grieving friend's bedside. And if you complain about THAT, you'll be history. looking for a nurseYou're losing you marriage, it's very clear isn't it? Divorce means you'll be relying upon yourself, no more of this 'can't afford to work'..that be solved in one quick and decisive decision. support won't really get you through. So what to do? Well, Mr. I don't give a fuck .better start giving a fuck because you're out the door if he doesn't. These fishing trips he treasures so much, well some support payments cut back on that shit. His life be really different and most likely he'll blame you. Look, you need to quit whatever you're doing, because you know it isn't working. Trying the same old shit is just banging your head into a brick wall. Lose the complaining, the whining, the 'trying to talk' or the little bullshit moves you do to open him up. Pull up your big girl panties and get serious. Lose the emotions for a bit and THINK. 1. Was this marriage ever good? Be honest now, don't get romantic on me. Was there a time you thought your marriage was what you wanted? Well? 2. IF and that's a big if, the answer to question one is yes then at least there once was something that MIGHT be worth saving. If the answer is no buckle down and prepare for a divorce. Get to where you are self supporting, set the goal and DO IT. 3. Now if you've really and I mean really had a good marriage at one time .roll the dice one more time. Like an adult. All you owe him is the opportunity to step up and work with you. You don't owe him carrying the full load when you've stated clearly the marriage fail without his help. So, you're at the point of perhaps giving him the opportunity. Get a sitter, are out of the house. You let him know you have something to say, and MEAN IT. Our marriage is failing, I know I have tried to communicate to you how to make it something we both want note the BOTH, not just you, this is a team decision so don't sit there with your list of fucking wants..no. Ask him, yup ask him if he likes your marriage as it is calmly and seriously. Is this the way you want to spend the rest of your life? Sick of me, sick of being some guy with a ball and chain? Someone you just say 'I don't give a fuck' to when she comes up to you and asks for something? Then LISTEN if he actually speaks up. If not, you have your answer. married women wants for fun
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