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But this conspiracy of silence and slander is bigger than just the school. Deindustrialized South Bend, Indiana is a company town, and the company is Notre Dame football. The football program in was valued by Forbes as the third "most valuable" in the country, behind far larger state universities in Texas and Michigan. This is just the formal economy. Informally, every hotel, every bar, every kid at the side of the road selling bottled water depends on Notre Dame football. Home games generate $10 million in local spending for a community of just , people. It is the beating economic heart of South Bend and women have become, in this sclerotic set up, the collateral damage. But the cone of silence that surrounds a company college football town is not enough to understand why Penn State’s rape scandal was front news the second the Sandusky scandal went public and Notre Dame has been largely protected by the press. The only answer that makes sense is that raping women has become "normalized" in our culture while raping little boys has not. The only answer that makes sense is that the rape of a boy sets all sorts of alarms of horror in the minds of the very male sports media, while the rape of women does not. The only answer that makes sense is that it's been internalized that while boys are helpless in the face of a predator, women are responsible for their. The accusers are the accused. This is not just a Notre Dame issue. At too universities, too football players are schooled to women as the spoils of being a campus God. But it's also an issue beyond the commodification of women on a big football campus. It's the fruit of a culture where politicians can write laws that aim to define the difference between "rape" and "forcible rape" and candidates for senate can speak about pregnancy from rape being either a “gift from God” or biologiy impossible in the case of “legitimate rape.” It’s a culture where comedians like Tosh or Tucker can joke about violently raping, as puts it, a “gender hardwired for whoredom”. The themes of power, rape, and lack of accountability are just as clear in the case of the Steubenville, Ohio football players not only boasting that they “so raped” an unconscious girl but feeling confident enough to videotape their boasts. Elba Idaho chat rooms freeHe no longer feels like participating in the marriage and that's okay with him. He's not miserable or lonely enough to want to divorce either. Repeating "I you" won't do anything. Even if he responds just to get you off his back, that alone won't stop your marriage from being dead. So you have choices: 1. Court him. Do your best to rekindle his interest. You might try the approach in Dr. -'s book "Care and Feeding of Husbands." I can't stand the woman's politics, but she's on to something in terms of the value of keeping one's own side of the street interesting and a pleasure to be with. IMO it's a way of taking responsibility and more effective than complaining to a checked-out husband about all he's failing to do for you. 2. Have the heavy talk about "what's wrong with our marriage" in an effort to get both of you improving things. Go to marriage counseling. Work on better communication. Etc. This is a fine approach when both parties want a better marriage it's not clear your husband does. 3. Divorce his ass. free adult ads
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