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I'm not one of those people that usually has to come out to others it's kind of obvious. And when I lived in a smaller town, I almost got beat up twice by queer baiters each time it was at least 4 or 5 strapping men who appeared to be both drunk and angry. But I talked my way out of it each time. This was during the heyday of the OCA the vilest and most persistent homophobic political group in the state. My straight upstairs neighbor, bless her, had put a lawn sign on our lawn that was against the OCA's latest ballot measure. I was coming home from work one day, and saw someone in my front yard, kicking over the sign. I got out of my car and said "Hey!" and she took off running, shouting Bible verses over her shoulder, capping her tirade with "Stay out of our schools, queer!" The scary thing is, I did work at a local community college at the time. Not sure how she knew that. I'd never seen her before. Another time during that, I'd been interviewed by a local paper, and I think the article was about the OCA, which I was clearly against. They used my name and where I worked (I was a busser at a mini-mall, my other job) but there was no picture of me. Anyway, a day or so later, I was walking my dog at 5am, and two women were out jogging in the park going the opposite direction. As they passed me, one of them said quietly "I saw you in the paper" in a way that was clearly menacing. It was double-plus-ungood. looking for mature volumptous older womanit does not appear you have spoken with him how that phrase affects you; because of the way you and most people would interpret it. placing myself in his shoes, i can a couple of ways, that are not reflective of you personally, but how he sees things. some people, not, were raised in a guilt filled environment. they feel they are not worthy of the good things in their life. we only hear the words, but a better measure of a person is their actions. do you feel loved? i don't mean by his words, but is he considerate in the small everyday things/actions? is there a cultural aspect you have underestimated or overlooked? our culture sees this behavior differently than another. modesty is seen as a virtue by some cultures but is as a sign of weakness in ours even though we say otherwise. could your own possible feelings of insecurity only have magnified his words as you interpret them. well you can go by how some interpret (projecting their own bias) this, which only feed into your preexisting fears. if you can not broach this with your bf then this relationship is doomed anyway but not by what you thought/imagined the problem as. what do we know? we only what you tell us and that is highly colored by your own imagined fears. old horny women
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