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whether I should respond to this post. I suppose I'm embarrassed myself because I've been in the same situation for a little over six years and it does fuck with your self esteem. It becomes difficult to experience yourself as an attractive sexual being and your sexuality is such a wonderful part of yourself it extends beyond the act and flavors the way you interact in other circumstances. Just as not having it changes the nature of your relationship. The creative beautiful force that is sexuality has an important and valid place in your life. It is Okay to want it and it. I have gone around in circles just as you have and asked myself all the questions other people are posing. Obviously I've chosen to stay, she is my wife, life has been hard for us and I believe that there is something more that we can become together. Although I am a lot older than you I also feel as if I am “stopping my sex life before it started”. My partner and I are priests in our ancestral tradition, we are parents together… these things along with my dwindling belief in my sexual value, intensify the pressure to work it out. I’m sure If I was your age I would have left. I have no wisdom for you, I’m still working it out. I can’t say yet whether the pressure to stay has been a blessing or not. It is still a work in progress. I say, consider that the problem could be physical, she should talk to a doctor about it, there are physical changes or imbalances that can effect a person this way. Consider whether it is psychological/emotional counseling together and apart could be helpful. Do understand that this is a problem that either she is going to have to also identify as a problem and choose to work on with you. Or that you have to resolve without her which in my mind means leaving. Also understand that even if it is a physical problem, sex is never just sex. My partner and I have tried creating days /times/dates to be romantic but we found the intimacy /trust/self esteem has been lost in the process and needs to be rebuilt. Also understand that her self esteem be just as effected as yours. She also be embarrassed and or not have any understanding of what is going on with her. Good luck and remember that there is nothing wrong with you. anyone real looking for great personalitypicking the right partner. It's hard to do that at 19. People aren't grown up by that age, so you really don't know how they'll turn out. Change isn't just hard, it's entirely unpredictable. There are things people can't change even if they want to; and a lot of changes people GROW into over decades. So really, even though your husband says he wants to change, there's no guarantee he can. And even though you'd like to help him, you really can't. people have wasted lifetimes hoping someone change. I think you have to accept the fact that you probably chose the wrong partner. The issues you've mentioned are serious. They're big, fat character issues, which your husband (or not) change in the next twenty years, but it's unrealistic to think he can do so in the near future. We like to believe people change for but they really don't. Not because they don't want to, but because they can't. Like I said, change isn't as deliberate or as subject to our control as we like to think. Do you have? I not. If you do, don't be foolish enough to make any more. The best we can say about your husband is he's not ready for marriage. But it be worse than that. He never be he always be impulsive and/or irresponsible, despite his good qualities. I say start thinking about moving on. Admit you were and foolish and when you married and work on being older and wiser. You'll be glad you did. You've lost respect for your husband for good reason. Honor your reason and integrity and sanity by choosing a better life for yourself. bbw my girl
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