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and hopefully, you use the past to learn and go foward, for a new and blossoming future. The only thing you really can do is go foward (or stand still and and stagnate.) Learn from your past behavior and really become the person she thought you were when you were married. **We never know what the future can bring but I am sure there is something great just around the horizon. Take stock in yourself, LEARN from your mistakes and let her the new and improved person you are becoming. With time and with healing for you both, you actually find your way back to each other. If not, you still find happiness. Sometimes, happiness needs to come from within. Grasp the gold bar and strive for greatness. Attend divorce care groups, your therapist every other day and follow his advice. Start an exercise program (which is an excellent way to combat depression) and focus on friends and family. Join some clubs, and do something you have always wanted to do. Me? I joined a gym, signed up for belly dancing, hip hop dancing, exotic dancing, and a metal detector club (which I have been doing for years), a mechanics class and a muscle car club. There was no one around to tell me NO. I met friends at work and eventually realized one day that I was HAPPY. I even went to a few singles dances but wasn't comfortable. I found a lot of in volunteering when I had time, and just having a blast throwing the toys for the dogs watching them play. Eventually I met someone, and we married but again, I can't tell what the future bring. I suspect another divorce in my horizon, (I have done everything I can but sometimes, divorce happens.) But if it does, I know it is not the end of the world but just a new beginning. Life is CHANGE and change is a huge part of life. Be flexible..learn, grow, and enjoy..a future awaits you. dating how does this thing even workFirst post, hello My to be ex dropped the custody bomb on me last month. I have a lawyer, but I was wondering what kind of feed back I would get here. I want shared custody and equal placement. I don't think I should have to pay support if this is the case. She said she wanted shared custody and equal placement over a year ago when she said she wanted a divorce. We had a 2 year old at the time, now almost 4. We are just now starting the divorce process, and she started off by saying she want's full custody and 17% of my income for support. I have had our half the time for over a year now, and have not been paying any support to her. She didn't say anything about full custody until I needed her to change our schedule to accommodate my new job. Our previous schedule was much worked around her convenience. We are not even middle class. I made 30, for the firs time in my life when our was 1 year old. I have supported her for years living check to check as she was supposedly starting her own business. Now she seems to think I owe it to her. I busted my ass literally working for this woman, and she gave me nothing but grief for years and then said I was so awful she wanted a divorce. I know this is rambling, but any feedback would be great. I am not perfect, I'm the first to admit that, but she has been taking notes on every mistake I have made for two years now, while I naively thought things just hadn't worked out for us, but we were on the same about our. girls flirting
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