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but to those that judged me: i do admit that i am a spoiled girl. but i never take advantage of my dates. in fact, i am the opposite of a demanding girl. i have a nice life of my own and i've always been able to spoil myself with or without men. if there was one thing i wanted a guy to provide for me that i can't on my own, it's just companionship and commitment. that being said, i do enjoy when my dates go out of his way to treat me like a while i am too, a generous girl. it's not about the gifts,money or 's about the effort a guy puts in for me. and i know and am able to reciprocate with thoughtful gifts and doing nice things for him too. he has also showed no signs of being a player. always supporting me in everything i do, and telling me he'd be a great father someday, how he thinks my parents are so lucky to have a daughter like me..and how he admires his dad blablabla.. it became very hard for me to believe a guy like him could be an asshole :( when he broke up with me,i continued to care for him hoping it change his mind. i wanted to prove that i am a good gf and that i can make his life better. if i acted desperate, it was because i truly wanted something more meaningful with him. i cut him off when i didn't want to be hurt everyday anymore:( but he refused and told me he always be my friend. i disagreed, but he never stopped inviting me out for innocent activities. and i slowly started talking to him like b4. when i agreed to out more often again, it was partly out of curiosity, because it has been a year and i wanted to know if i have really moved on. or even just to prove to myself whether he really cares for me as a friend, or he's an asshole and i should hate him. yet i realized i still have so much feelings for him. I started being nice to him again, even agreeing to design his place free(i'm an interior designer) a part of me just want him to remember me as a girl that did her best, if we were to never talk to each other again after this. as i force myself to move on. i do admit that i am selfish for doing this to my current date. but we are all selfish when it comes to. my can't decide what my heart chooses. my current date doesn't make my heart beat the same way..although his and kindness is slowly healing me. it still doesn't feel the same way :( i don't get any "butterflies".
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He got sick, really sick. I was all he had to help take care of him. I made decisions that risked my job to be there for him. I have up my apartment to move in with him. We were still getting to know each other so I was caught off guard of how he handled what happened. I come from a 'don't feel sorry for yourself' family, so he did not like me pushing him to help him get over it. The guy I fell in with is no longer there. He's no longer affectionate towards me, but tells me daily he loves me. Says he hurts from his surgery, which I'm sure he does, but I was in a car wreck and have had 8+ surgeries, so I hurt daily. That does not stop me from wanting to be affectionate. It's like he holds me at arms length now, he does not want to be close. I know he holds resentment towards me for me being 'harsh'. I hold resentment towards him because he's changed so drastiy. friends then whatI did not insinuate there was anything more involved. A who has a wife AND a mistress, yet needs a phone , is an attention-pig. Such people wear out a spouse OR a girlfriend, if all they have is one or the other. To think that a who never lived happily with his wife, yet stays in the relationship, would live happily with another woman, is not taking his personality into account. That is where the "we are all different" comes into play. "Happiness" is not as achievable as contentment. All parties in that triangle appear to be content. And what is so bad about playing house? all online dating
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