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CA Court take therapy, particularly court ordered therapy, very seriously. You stand a far better of changing custody based on her failure to take the to court-ordered therapy, than you do based on the fact the has missed kindergarten. I would focus on the evaluation (I'm assuming its a custody or psycholigical evaluation) and anything Mom was ordered to do based on the evaluation that she hasn't done. If it was 2nd grade or high school, you might make some headway wth a judge on the failure to go to school issue. However, for kindergarten, I doubt the judge care as much, and certainly not enough to take primary custody from a mother. The failure to take the to court ordered therapy or to follow any other court orders is far more pursuasive to a judge. As other posters have pointed out, Courts are very reluctant to take primary custody away from a mother. Think term. Point out that mom is not taking the to therapy, that the chid is missing school, and offer to help. For example, offer to take the to/from school or the therap appointments. Add that time, and as much other time as you can, to your vistiation timeshare. After a while, you have a solid record of taking the chil to/from school, therapy, doctor's appointments, plus an increased time share as mom use you for easy and free care. THEN you file a motino to change custody AFTER having a documented track record of your parenting duties and her lack of parenting duties. Good luck! xxx rancho grandeYou mention an 18 year old, I'm assuming there are also younger involved. My ex had two and I went through all of it dealing with their mother. Eventually I had to step back from the details of their interaction. They are the mother and father of these, they have to make their own decisions. You've taken on a lot of baggage and it won't end until the last one is grown up and support is over even then she still be in their lives. Adults things are between adults. You the and show them that, but if it comes down to issues between mom and dad, you just need to tell them you them but their mom and dad have to work things like that out. Otherwise your life be consumed with their drama and trust me, your marriage won't survive. I did a lot of fighting on behalf of my stepchildren to provide them with the first stable home life they had in years and to show them what a normal life was like. You can do all of this without getting involved in things like support and a backpack. And as far as "paying for meals", ask the 18 year old how he would like to deal with it. Maybe he wants to show up with a grocery bag of food for the weekend. Maybe the easy way out is to give him $20 to run to McDs for every meal. Ask him what he thinks it would take for this to not be a problem for him. Ironiy after my ex and I split, the mother decided to take my advice and go into counseling. No for dad, he chose his path and it didn't include his. Continuing to fight with her was more important than what was best for the. But she did come out of it with a healthier way of dealing with the, their disappointments and their relationship with their father. I would say that if any of this influences their attitude or school, family counseling on your side is in order. Bottom line, you are on the sidelines of this and the two of them have to choose how they are going to deal with the and each other. It isn't your fight. If you can your husband and your stepchildren and put the rest of that stuff out of your mind, support them without taking sides, and just them it be enough. Or as in my case, it not be. swinger lifestyle
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