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It's so peculiar how we on to the that our families become the warm, nurturing, and supportive people we need them to be. It sounds like your "parents" were weak in this area before you "came out," so chances are they not improve much with time. The treatment you have described is inexcusable in any situation. Time (and the lure of a granddaughter) might soften them a bit, but I have my doubts. I wonder what effect all this has on your daughter. These are toxic people and their poison has the potential to seep into all those around them (including your girl). I feel your (for family) in your posting, and the ache in your heart because this goes unmet. I have had more than a few friends who experienced rejection from their families of origin. They found great satisfaction and contentment as they built a "family" of their own choosing. Putting distance between you and them is a good thing and helpful in staying positive (very important if you live with chronic and/or terminal illness). As someone already mentioned, there is no book you can give them, there is no amount of and respect you can demonstrate to them, that change who they are or how they treat you. What you do need to do is TAKE CARE of YOURSELF. By staying physiy and emotionally, you are in kind, taking care of your daughter. I would also strongly encourage you to seek out a therapist that can help you work through some of the more traumatic aspects of your situation. Most community mental health agencies offer inexpensive (sliding scale) services at a very low rate. There are also group counseling situations that are affordable (or even free) based on your situation. (Contact any GLBT organization). I know people discredit therapy as a viable option, but having a someone who is empathetic, supportive, and genuine to talk with lift your spirits and help you get stronger. Blessings to you Divine .there are people out there who do care. fuck girls Batam
I apologize for top-posting without having posted much. I have been reading regularly since over a year ago, so I am very familiar with the process. Since this is an forum, filled with strangers, this is whose opinion I would really like at the moment. I want to take a poll. My girlfriend and I had a huge fight this morning. It was a continuation of a discussion we had last night. First, some background. I am in my mid-twenties, she is in her mid/late thirties. (The age difference is only peripheral to this I think). We have been together for about 14 months now. What is important is that, though I have been out to everyone in my life for most of my life, I only came out to my parents about a month after the two of us started dating. They are (as am I) from a different culture (let’s just say it constantly ranks with Saudi Arabia in terms of homophobia) and took it super hard. I am, however, an only, and my parents (especially my dad) me a lot. I know this. This is why, even though it was terribly painful to me do this, we have stayed in contact and have kept out relationship much the same. They told me that they did not want to hear anything about my girlfriend. I obliged, except when asked direct questions. Then I made it clear that she was still in my life and that unless they want to “go there”, they should maybe not ask such questions. I wanted to give them some time, and then slowly start to force the issue. I know that within the next year or so, I would insist that she be accepted and treated with respect, or my relationship with them would suffer. I figured a couple of years is a reasonable amount of time for them to get their bearings. My girlfriend and I were planning to move in together this month, something I did avoid telling my parents. I think they would misunderstand the move to mean that I am engaged to her or something like that (again, cultural) whereas the two of us are just “trying it out”. I her, but I have never lived with someone, and I do have a bit of a commitment issue, so needless to say this is all scary (though also exciting, of course). Bottom line, I did not want the added pressure to this whole situation of dealing with my parents at the same time. I wanted to tell them after we did it, and it worked, and it had been a couple months. week day friends and activity partnersIt's easy for us to sit on the sidelines, a messy problem filled situation like this and say she should get up and leave. Ideally, that well be what she should do, but you've got two that they have together in this situation that have to be provided for. It sounds like they're barely making it economiy as one household. If they split and the same amount of money has to cover two households plus if she goes to work the added expense of childcare how is that going to work? He reminds me of my own father who was verbally and emotionally abusive and had anger issues as well as difficulties earning a living. My mother stuck it out, first taking a crummy job as a kitchen worker in the public school cafeterias, going to night school and school during the summers when her shcool job was in recess until she had skills that enabled her to be independent. Then when he had one of his tantrums and walked out she was able to tell him don't bother coming back. Unfortunately there are two in this mix that have to be feed, clothed, and schooled and that has to come first. I think she needs some kind of counseling to learn to develop her own self respect and get some support to cope with this, but in the economic situation it sounds like they are in it's probably going to be from some charitable organization rather than just checking out some normal fee for service MFCCs in the private sector. Maybe her church, but not if it's one of those conservative "it's all in the Bible, just believe in, and woman know thy place" kind of churches that abound where she is located. It's not a good situation, but it doesn't sound to me like leaving is an option at this point. single chat
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