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For one thing, Leavitt’s mother suffered from early-onset Alzheimer’s. She was diagnosed at a relatively age — 52 when her symptoms became obvious — and her illness progressed quickly. She passed away after turning 60. (My grandmother was 90 when she died). Before Alzheimer’s, Leavitt’s mother was a whip-smart, active, and engaged woman. She had attended Radcliffe College, was a renowned teacher in Canada, and ended up working for the New Brunswick government designing the curriculum for all of the kindergartens in the providence. There’s something particularly painful about watching a brilliant mind dissolve. And although researchers believe that keeping the mind active can actually delay Alzheimer’s, Leavitt’s mother was still working when her mind deteriorated. The fact that Leavitt’s mother was such an intelligent, quick-witted woman meant that she was quite aware that she was losing her faculties. That awareness made the process all the more difficult for her; she was angry and bitter and lashed out at those closest to her. She didn’t want to need their help. Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s is no easy task, and Leavitt doesn’t shy away from sharing how hard her mother’s illness was on their family. The disease is particularly difficult on caregivers who are related: spouses, siblings. As Leavitt bravely reveals in Tangles, suddenly the boundaries and intimacies that previously defined those relationships began to blur. At some point her parents’ room is no longer their sanctuary; her mother’s naked body is no longer reserved for her husband’s sexual gaze. Sexuality itself loses meaning. In so ways, his wife is no longer his and no longer a wife. She reverts to an almost infantile stage but remains in the body of an adult woman, making caring for her at home increasingly difficult. In disrupting relationships and stealing away the loved one’s soul, Alzheimer’s often leaves caregivers grieving years before the person’s body finally succumbs to the disease. There is one silver lining to the progression of Alzheimer’s: Eventually Leavitt’s mother is no longer aware of her illness and what it is costing her. With the loss of her cognitive functions, her anger dissipates. crazy horny need someWashington Post 1, Trethewey: Poetry ‘showed me that I wasn’t alone’ Trethewey is a product of the South, born in Gulfport., 46 years ago, although her father (white) and her mother (black) were forced to leave the state to. She is a daughter who at 19 came to know profound grief when her stepfather shot and killed her mother. A professor (- University) and Pulitzer Prize winner (in for the poetry collection “Native Guard”), Trethewey this month become the first poet laureate of the United States to take up residence in the nation’s capital. Trethewey recently spoke with Style’s about how she found her voice, how her experiences shaped her as an artist and why she decided — for the next few months, at least — to Washington home. Below are edited excerpts from that conversation. The first thing I tried to do in the months after losing my mother was to write a poem. I found myself turning to poetry in the way so people do — to make sense of losses. And I wrote bad poems about it. But it did feel that the poem was the only place that could hold this grief. I found a poem. Auden’s “Musee des Beaux Arts.” It begins, “About suffering they were never wrong, The old Masters .” And it goes on to describe the Pieter Breugel painting of Icarus. In the foreground, of course, there’s everything -: a ship, a horse scratching its behind on a tree. All those things . But then at the very end of the poem — Icarus falling into the sea. And what it made me realize is that my grief felt like that. It felt so deeply personal and so invisible to the rest of the world. The world was going on about its way while I was over there, this individual suffering what seemed to me a huge loss, what was to me a huge loss. That poem showed me that I wasn’t alone in feeling that way. That’s what poetry can do for us — to remind us when we feel most alone, we are not at all. on line dating services
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