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In my experience, when someone has a lack of confidance like that, there are a few things you can first is to completely STOP criticizing them, stop bitching at them, don't offer suggestions or solutions unless asked for, build them up with praise for all the things they *do* do well, and don't make it comfortable for them to stay where they are at. Meaning, don't pay for their bills, rent, don't pay for every dinner you guys go out for, vacations, etc. But still do those things. That that means you two make a nice home cooked romatic dinner, but you go out to a nice restaurant with your girlfriends. You guys go camping, you go to the coast for the weekend with your sisters. You save money, you be responsible with what you earn, and set an example of how it should be. And encourage him where he needs it. I truly believe that you cannot change someone, specially by nagging and bitching. But you can lead by example. And make your relationship a safe place for him to feel secure enough to step out and take the risks he needs to succeed. mature raleigh marriedI was born in the Dakotas where all my extended family lives. I grew up in the Boston area. And now have settled on the West coast. There IS a ton of differences between those various locals for sure. My DH is also an Easterner, so we've talked about this topic a lot. We both agree our favorite kind of person tends to be Easterners who settle in the West (like both of us, of course). Actually, I've frequently thought the West Coast holds the worst passive/- behavior patterns. Not everyone of course, but it still drives me crazy. I'd prefer blunt honesty over placation any day, but maybe that's because I was raised with that. I don't know why, but I always think of the grocery line as a microcosm of the region here's a few real examples of how I've seen them in those places West Coast the line is quiet, everyone looks straight ahead and doesn't make eye contact. When I ask the woman in front of me if that bottle of wine is good, she looks at me like I have heads and mumbles she doesn't know. She can't get away from me fast enough. East Coast the woman in front of me gabs about what trash Lohan is to the checker. They both look over my purchases on the conveyor belt and let me know that the other lettuce is on sale, and that frozen dinner 'is no good', I should try this other one. Mid West I get in line and the woman in front of me is telling the checker about her diabetes. The woman behind me joins in the conversation. They ALL look at me, and know I don't live there. They ask if I'm a "Jones", I look like a "Jones", and in fact they are correct. They want to guess who's my dad, and again they are correct. They say that must make you 'CB', and it's true. They start telling me stories about my father and uncles high school days. free sex dating site
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