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live love life Louisville Are you, or are you not, from the same culture? On one hand you say you don't speak French but understand it. Your husband and this woman speak French. Then on the other you say that your husband only knows a few words in your language. Granted I can how you can come from the same nation, but how can you be from the same culture if your husband does not speak your language? As far as I know, the double cheek kiss is part of the culture in some countries, like and Italy. This isn't his or her issue. It's yours. What would you do if he was visiting a European country where the double cheek kiss was part of the every day greeting and he was greeted with a cheek kiss by someone? This isn't like he was caught kissing her when he thought no one was looking. Or they kissed on the lips. It was a farewell cheek kiss. I'm guessing part of the reason he speaks french is because that's his background, yes? Wouldn't that mean regardless of where he learned his French (be it from itself or Canada) that kissing cheeks is part of the cultural norms? I think your last paragraph speaks volumes of your insecurity levels. He crossed an etiquette line and you cried and felt weak over it? Like he practiy went out and fucked this woman on the dance floor? He shouldn't "also" be hurt by what has happened. You're being unreasonable to think that. He danced with someone who was married, in front of you, and then to say farewell she kissed him on the cheek. Yes, people are right in telling you to a therapist. And stop doing any more damage to your relationship by talking about how this event upset you to him. Only talk to your therapist. casual encounters 45133
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I agree with you that a client fantasizing about a therapist isn't a horrible thing. It's when those fantasies get in the way of performing the work for which the therapist is tasked to performed that it crosses from the gray into the black. In the case of massage therapists, there's a physical intimacy that can lead itself into sexual inappropriateness. From my perspective, it would likely be helpful to let an MT know that you tend to have intense, erotic reactions to being massaged if that's truly the case. If the MT consents to providing treatment or services after knowing such things, then it seems OK in my book, especially given the training provided about potential sexual responses to massage. I've not had a response to massage of the same quality as the one the OP describes, so I'm not clear what it would entail. However, I also think it's silly to assume that clients of professionals don't fantasize about those professionals, just as it's silly to assume that any person's thoughts of us are pure and chaste. Who knows when we be wank fodder for someone? As as the wank fodder doesn't inhibit the professional conduct of a relationship, I don't an ultimate problem with it, as that would require the exercise of self-control. On the other extreme are psychotherapists, who delve deeply into their clients' psyches. Often times, the emotional intimacy that's created can lead to sexual fantasies. In that case, however, there's not direct manipulation of the body, so having sexual responses during the session isn't expected or appropriate. Nevertheless, therapists are often fodder for clients' masturbatory fantasies. In and of itself, is that wrong? No. Could it be problematic? Absolutely, especially if the fantasies become more important than the therapeutic work that's to be done. At that point, such intense fantasies would have to be discussed and worked through, with the client accepting a transfer to another therapist if there can't be any resolution of the fantasies. lonely women in Hsinfuli
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