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Hi again all, So much has happened since my last post and all for the good. But now I am here on advice for making a smooth transition to the next step. We are spending much more time together both alone and as a family (his mine) and although he and I are ready to make the "move in together move" it is probably just not best yet for the involved. Ok for my daughter who is going into the 8th grade. We have listened to her concerns and wants and we have agreed to wait until next (YIKES almost a whole year) to actually officially make the move. The time probably go quickly anyway as I we both have places (him house, me condo) to prepare. My questions: Ideas on getting everybody (him, me, -) use to the idea of "us as a whole" vs. the ME syndrome that we all seem to share. We all agree this is what we want, but we have also been independant for 7 years now. By the time we actually offiy make the move, I would it if everyone referred to "things" (the house, cars, furniture) as ours instead of mine, his, and hers. Also, if all others feelings were involved in decision making and plans. He and I are already very much working on this one. We sat down with each other's finance over the weekend and make term plans. He and I also discussed what needed to be done to each house and how we were going to get those things done. However, it bothers me very much (even though this is new) when SO refers to "my house" or "my car" or "my -" vs. "our house/car/-" When I bring this up, he graciously admits to understanding and trys harder, but what a ideas on how to ease him and especially our into the "Our/Us" stage instead of the "Me/Mine" stage. Those who know me, this is not a stressor, I am not worried, I have plenty of time to work through all of this. I am just looking for ideas on how to make the transition easier for all involved. I am confident that in the run, things work out beautifully. Just looking for suggestions or ideas to make the transition smoother!! Thanks! lets conquer our own love storyLater on that night after my went to bed she started talking about how she hates living where we are and she doesn't like being alone with our. I told her that he needs to be where we are so that he can attend his special classes(which are helping immensely), and that I like the general area much better than where we used to live and that the place where she wants to live(about 30 away) has a horrible school system with no special needs classes and to move back there would negatively affect him for the rest of his life. I told her that if she doesn't want to live where we need to be and she doesn't want to be alone with the kid then she should just take her stuff and leave and go stay with her sister and find a job up there and then get her own apartment. Then I'd give her all the furniture she wanted and our can spend every other weekend or whatever time with him she can tolerate. She said she wouldn't do it. I asked her why she would stay in a situation where she was unhappy if there was another option, and she wouldn't answer. My guess is that in her twisted mind she must feel that if she leaves that I somehow "win". adult black woman
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