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Abusers stitch targets when one is unavailable. When my parents separated I was old enough to not have to visit him and my mom didn't him. So he switched to my little brother. He didn't us before, he hit me all of once out of anger in 16yrs. But then when he didn't have my mom to treat like shit he turned to my brother. And my brother was legally required to go because of joint custody. Just because he doesn't the today doesn't mean he won't tomorrow. any of you ladies
That one line is soooo true .And it takes monumental courage to open up to family pains that limit us, especially the mother relationship pains. If we all had a daily practice where we actively engage in this healing, a lot of suffering would be eliminated in the world .Also loved the part about focusing on the forgiveness rather than the guilt. Something as simple as this is worth mentioning, when one is stuck in guilt. Also, for, the beginning of entertaining forgiveness often involves a 'dance' of sorts, of a fair amount of anger as consciousness is awakened. married and looking KasselFirst you said: To say that getting emotional after witnessing a physical assualt on an innocent third party is overreacting is just plain silly. Overreacting is acting. That means acting on your anger. But now you seem to be saying she wasn't acting angry because she was calm. But that's not what you said; you were speaking in the abstract. Why being abstract? Then you bring up this: So in your world repressing emotions is the way to go? You are claiming she was calm so why mention repressing emotions? That doesn't make any sense. I never said: Getting angry, an emotion, is the same as getting violent, an action? I said this: Talking about how you feel is not expressing it, it's discussing it. You would not respond to this: So you agree that getting angry is not appropriate; the way to handle BF is to discuss it rationally without getting angry. Why didn't you say that she was calm and rational then? Because that would mean you agree with me? You can claim I am wrong all you want but I have said the same thing consistently. Getting angry in response to anger or violence is wrong. (I limited my comments to her behavior.) She asked if she was wrong. If she was calm then there would be no reason for her to ask if she was wrong. When someone blows their cool they sometimes question if they were wrong; but no one ever doubts themselves when they have kept a cool head. Having a cool head means you have our intellect making decisions (not your emotions). You said she was lying in another post but you believe that she was calm with him. That doesn't make sense to me. Why would she need to lie here if she is capable of handling a violent BF with a cool head? You are not being consistent in your point of view. definition of dating
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