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Some people think that its racist that because people are stereotypiy "black" they make me uncomfortable so I tend to shy away from them. But in the same breath I only know white people and my family is very much European so I much know why I feel more comfortable dating white men despite their racial based tendency. Because I've been in term relationships with several people that I wouldn't consider racists but at the same time gave me recognition as a person of color. In my Opinion acklowedgement of skin color when not associated with respect for a religious group, is slightly racist. I grew up in a generalized cultural household but people associate me with black, or in my case people don't know what I am half of the time. Despite the fact that my friends and family dont me as colored guys always inquire about my ethnicity. And to be honest I feel like they're always hoping that I say anything but "black". I think it is just a qwirk of our age that we're at a middle ground in our sense of ethniy morality. I feel like if you're ethnic and interested in interratcial relationships you kind of have to toughing up and accept that bias wont change over night and the most difficult parts of the race '-" are over. Keeping in mind that its not centralized in white, the light skinned "mixed" and " other" ethnicites tend to look down on darker people of their own race. The only ethnic friends I've ever had have been mixed and of them felt they were better off because" luckily" they weren't black :/ I look at my ethnicity as an accesspry to everything that makes us individuals rather than a guideline. I don't really care what color you are as as you treat me the way I feel I should be. A lot of guys (the stereotypical ones) but aesthetics first and a shallow pool of aesthetiy at that sadly. doctor seeking for sex s mt 78130 cardiologyFirst, if your wife goes for individual counseling, SHE be the client. If you go together for couples counseling, BOTH of you are the clients. My recommendation is that you each go for individual counseling, and both of you go for couples counseling. That's 3 therapists, one for each of you, and 1 for you as a couple. Lots of money, but I think it's time you put your money where your mouth is. This is not the time to cut corners. This is the time when you SHOW that you mean business. That you recognize that you're in crisis, and you're prepared to make substantial, permanent changes. If she refuses couples counseling, go for individual counseling anyway. Show her that you mean business. No words. Actions. There can be ethical conflicts when a therapist sees both of you in couples counseling, in addition to seeing one/both of you in individual counseling. The question of who is the client becomes muddled. Now, no therapist worth his/her salt give advice or tell the client what to do. Therapists don't have all the answers, and what works for one person/couple not work for another. Instead, they bring to the table all their skills to help the client(s) find their way to making their own decision(s). Forget the illusion of control; this is out of your hands. Your wife very well decide that the marriage is not worth saving. Or she shoot you one last, and if she does, recognize that it'll probably be your last, and don't blow it. That's where your individual therapy kicks in. Learn a better way. Take responsibility for your past behavior. Acknowledge the hurt you've caused, make amends wherever possible, and resolve to never be that again, with her, or in some future relationship. If you've lost your wife, accept it graciously and support her decision. Whatever the outcome, your best shot at this point is to go balls out and get ready to fight for your marriage. If this fails, be the most supportive father to your and ex that you can possibly be. Good luck. extramarital affairs
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