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My best advice is to buy the book. Read it. Have her read it. Discuss it. Explore some of the suggestions that she feels comfortable with. Letting her take control of the process can be very helpful. It take a little longer, but ultimately she needs to know that she is in charge of what happens to her asshole. =) For specific advice: -You need to understand the anatomy. And how to avoid hurting it. (the book or just e be helpful) -You need to figure out what she is afraid of. Fear/anxiety is like a dandelion you have to get to the root of it. -Find the right lube. And use a metric fuck ton of it. I am not kidding. The ass does not lubricate itself. (- anatomy) -Find what relax her. This take some experimentation. Consider it part of the journey (ie, don't forget to stop and smell the roses) -Introduce ass play, rather than full penetration, first. This help tune her in to the potential pleasure of it. Just run your finger very lightly over a well lubed asshole during, say, oral (you giving her oral, in case that needs to be said). If she doesn't like this at all, then back off. If she does then you can explore a bit further -Small toys, a finger. During oral, or any other activity that gets her highly aroused. When you get to full penetration, things like position and come into play. But you should have enough to get ya started there. sex tonight in KolmudomYou have thought quite a bit about this stuff. That is good. I that you can act on the things you have thought about. Keep exploring too. He feel safe when he opens up to the things he wants. And you react with and acceptance. It is not going to happen overnight. It take time. This is different because it is a different dynamic to your life. you are changing things. When is change ever easy? Especially with guys. Guys do not change easily. Just keep that in mind. What he keeps in mind is whomever it is that was disapproving of him. If it was more than one person, all those people’s voices are in his head. But if he is going to be a DOM, he has to step up and dominate. I would think, if he is a DOM, he wouldn’t be as concerned with your opinion. He would be stepping up to take charge. He wouldn’t be as concerned with things like you were going to run away. He would just tell you what he wants. It is a little off that is not the case. But I don’t have an answer as to what that means. What I meant about people who play with age Headmaster/ school girl. Coach / cheerleader. Scenes where, in your case the male – your husband, is in a dominant position. He puts the female – you, into ‘her place’ so to speak. He dominates you. Makes you do naughty things. As for bringing people into your relationship, it is not an easy thing to do. But if you include the right person, it can be very worthwhile. Sounds like you want to be submissive to him. Lots on info out there. About levels of submission. You can find that stuff. I would say that you should find it together with him. Encourage him to take his position as the sexual in your relationship. Your relationship tot the outside world does not have to change. But you two can grow together. It can be a ton of fun. Dressing up. Learning about restraints. Do you like to be spanked? Learning can be fun. I have done my fair share of BDSM stuff. It does not have to be scripted or acting. With me, it is natural. I just enjoy it. I like being in charge. Telling people what to do. When to do it. How to do it. I t is fun. It is supposed to be fun. dating for guys
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