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The 19-year-old has friends (between 1 and 4 of them) over every day and overnight. That was not the agreement when he moved back in; but dad doesn't care and they all work nights so we don't each other much. It makes me uncomfortable having so people in the house all the time; but the kid lived there before I did and I'm really the newcomer, so I try to ignore my discomfort. And not wonder whose hairball is in the shower. Last night, I was saying I wanted for one night without any guests. Yes I had planned to do the usual homework with the youngest; and tried to get that done before I left. Youngest said his test had been rescheduled, so we moved the study night. He was supposed to bring home some back homework but had failed to do so. And we usually work on reading on Mondays. His dad has said to him times that he cannot go friends on weeknights unless his grades are all at least C I was just repeating. I had baked a cake and planned to have a family dinner; but I never know the 19-year-old's plans. Sure, I had games or cards in the back of my mind. But it would depend on what everyone felt like doing. I wasn't saying the oldest couldn't go or whatever he wanted to do. He's 19 and works, and gives his dad $ a month in rent. He's a free agent, at least in my mind. It's just all his friends living there that, makes me feel a little crowded, even though they are quiet and out of sight. Social anxiety, yes. I can it eroding away as I get used to having no privacy and no space. I was thinking I just need more time to adjust. Oldest (and friends) moved back in mid-December. And I did and do have a lot of work. It is crunch time. I had deliberately put it on hold and come home early to spend valentines with my BF. Olive Branch people fucking nudeIMHO, everyone has great advice about "her" problem, but not your collective problem. If I were you, I would sit her down at a quiet time and tell her that you her but there are problems. This does not have to do with money but more about how you two operated (or failed to operate) as a team. I would tell her what you expected you married for richer or poorer and you meant it. But when you made those vows, you expected someone, your partner and your friend, to be beside you. Instead, you felt alone. You felt like you did not have someone who would help share the burden. You were sad and angry and frustrated, true, but all marriages have those moments. Tell her you don't want to feel alone like that again in a marriage. Tell her you know it is not all her fault, but that you need to find a way to work together. Tell her you are open to counseling. Tell her again that you her and are committed to the marriage and your family. Then what she says. Put the ball in her court. Once you get back on the same about commitment to each other, then you can talk about finances. married wants for married
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