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The only thing you're doing wrong is not leaving him. Like Sphynx said one day you end up black and blue from this. Your ex sounds just like one of mine controlling, possessive, accusatory, loving one minute and cold the next. Eventually he become violent. You then figure out if the makeup covering the bruises is obvious as you go out with your friends (should he permit you to out with them still). You'll sit there hoping that your friends help you but too embarrassed to ask for help. So people here tell you to get out and it's not that we're mean or want you to take the easy way out. We look back and recognize the signs all too well and we don't want another person to go through the. It is so hard for to seek help or get out of the situation and beyond that it is just as hard to realize that you could be loved by someone not broken. Please get out, leave him and take time to appreciate yourself. Be alone and happy and eventually you find a who loves you and is not a broken asshole. lonely mature in Johnstonville California CAIt's not your job to get your father to change, attempting to cause frustration, anger and resentment on both sides. Relationships ALL relationships involve acceptance of people's faults and working around them, not trying to manipulate them into YOUR version of who they should be. It isn't as easy as it sounds hence divorce rates, standing friendships that end, job dissatisfaction, and endless list. There is a part of human nature that wants to control their environment and you'll it every day. An example would be in the work place how often do we hear people talk about what they would do if they were the boss and question the actions taken. It's out of their control and they believe they know the solutions. You ARE growing and as you have your parents are becoming human and you're asking how you let one of them in on their faults. Comes from some good things like wanting to improve a relationship, thinking that HIS life would be better (very wrong thinking there but I feel it's because you care) and it comes from some selfish motivations. Like you putting yourself into a position of needing him and facing these things every day that isn't his fault, its yours. YOU are contributing to the breakdown of your relationship with your father by being there. Think hard, don't you have friends that you really care about that you wouldn't want to live with? Things about them you don't think are right but hey, they are a friend and you them for who they are you don't HAVE to deal with their shit day in and day out. That's no different than this it really isn't. We're not talking about or physical acts of violence here, we are talking about personality. He's still with all this asshole aspects they same guy who is giving you a place to stay, who had you do book reports, talked to you when you were - him for it and accept the rest and get out so it's easy. And for fuck sake, leave the rest of the family out of it. No more behind his back talk with the rest of the 'gang' who jump on board. Have YOUR relationship with him your mom and him are divorced so as an adult act like one. Get your place to stay, either deal with a roommate or realize if you can't because of an animal you aren't truly ready to care for one on your own. Hard choices adult choices. women wants marriage
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