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I need to clear a few things up. My husband had addiction problems several years back. I didn't know he was addicted to Loratabs. On his own, still without me knowing anything, he began treatment. The doctor prescribed him some opiiate replacements and anti-depressants. I could tell something was up because his personality changed. He went from and fun, friendly, loving guy with lots of energy to an emotional vegetable. We stop conversing, stop hanging out together, stopped having sex. He was extremely disconnected. I had just began back at college and thought that my schooling was the drain on our relationship. I thought he was no longer interested in me. I thought he was checking out of the relationship. I was discussing this with his step-mom and she mentioned that it could be a possibility since he really wasn't an education kind of guy because he dropped out in the 10th grade. She thought I knew this. I didn't. I was told by him that he graduated. When I confronted him he admitted lying and then admitted the usage. Things were still really bad. I would find out a new lie every week or so. He wouldn't let me be part of his treatment. We lived horribly for about nine months and then I decided I wanted a separation because things had really gotten bad. After being separated a while we decided to try to make it work and have been doing really well for the last year. That's the background of what he did. Here is what I did. I had a hard time forgiving him especially since the lies kept popping up and he was still horribly distant. I knew that I needed time and space to figure things out but didn't know how to tell him. I also really screwed up about a month before I asked for a separation. I cheated on him with a friend of ours who had knowledge about everything that was going on and was a supportive ear. I know that nothing my husband did or didn't do is any excuse for my actions. It's all back story and helps to explain my frame of mind at the time. I thought the end was inevitable. After we separated, I cooled off and could think clearly. I also saw and got to know the that I had married again. We decided to make it work. I decided to not tell him about the affair because I figured it would hurt everyone too much. I also made that decision upon the advice of our marriage counselor. single women Madisonville swingersYou spoke up even though your tender heart was on the line. You stood up for sanity. You got a couple firsts out of the way You got hurt too. And though it sucks, sucks, sucks you got that first out of the way too. We've all been through it. Sucks, sucks, sucks But know what? It's a rite of passage, a stepping stone to a real relationship. No one picks the right guy fresh out of the gate. No one escapes the learning curve. Naturally, you feel like hell right now. Naturally, you have questions. You'll prob never answer them to your satisfaction. But in the end, it's strengthening maturing to realize we never *really* know what's going on with someone we've only known six months. That no matter what he said or did, it wasn't a waste for YOU; the good times were good for YOU; it was an experience YOU wanted; and YOU acted with integrity. I'm sorry you're hurt. YET, this wasn't good enough for you. He lacks self-honesty integrity. Going forward, I you decide those are the crucial qualities to look for in a partner. If you need a mourning period, take one. But don't make it too. It's a good time to turn to real friends and to focus on yourself your goals. don't have break-up sex with an insensitive, self-centered user: you'll only get hurt. don't stay friends with him either. He's not conscientious; he's demonstrated a willingness to exploit you, and you don't need that kind of friend. years from now you can be friends with him, but not now. Not while you're hurt vulnerable. Not until you're so thoroughly over him you don't care what he does or doesn't do with that woman. You'll be fine. You've taken a step down the path to a genuine relationship with a partner who values you. A step toward something better and knowing what qualities matter over the haul. Much depends on YOU valuing YOU. So after a few chick flicks with Haagendas, get moving. Throw yourself into enriching activities: an exercise routine, the class you always wanted to take, the mountain you want to climb this. Take your eyes off him and focus on YOU. You'll think of him and that's okay peace come. I promise. But use this energy to better YOUR life. You won't be sorry you did. single parent dating sites
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