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asian bottom looking for a hung top you want different things, but I can't imagine dealing with this for eight years and then marrying him. Why didn't you just live where you want and he lives where he wants and each other when you both want? Your lives don't sound like they were ever headed for the same destination, frankly. He's a nomad and you're a nester. That's more than "life at this moment" not bringing you to the same destination. Life won't do that, anyway. YOU have to do that. Or at least you both have to want to do that, and try. If you've been accommodating his traveling lifestyle for eight years, he should stop being a selfish prick and accommodate you now. That's a one way street you have there. If it's really too much for him to actually live with you in a house, a house that stays put and doesn't float from town to town, after eight years of you traipsing around after him like a puppy, I don't know what his problem is. If my husband needed months for personal growth and couldn't find his way back after that, I'd probably suggest he find more than personal growth. Like a personal attorney, or at the very least a personal therapist.
swinger in Salt lake It seems that it is more coincidental than anything that MIL moving in led to numerous problems. I'm sure the stress helped them along but there's bound to be stress and if flying off the handle, over spending, and cheating are ways you and your wife handle stress then you're in for big problems. Yay you saw a counselor but it sounds like nothing has changed outside of temporary views towards one another. So, my advice: first figure out if you want to be married. Yes not living with your daughter is devastating but it be hurting her to live in a home where her parents are miserable. Divorce can be a bearable thing and improvement for in some situations. So if you don't divorce what you need to do. Discuss with your wife how you want to live, how she wants to live. Then sit down with MIL and work out an exit strategy. You have to explain how American's live without extended family and disrespectful of those older and wiser, basiy. Remind MIL how nice it was to have her own place and how she can come visit whenever as as she goes home at night. Next get financial counseling. You need to downsize your home or car but there's no reason you can't live very comfortably on k a year with savings and a college fund for your daughter. Finally pay attention to your wife. It's unlikely that's the whole reason she cheated but perhaps taking dance lessons together show her that you care about her and her interests. Plan family trips to a or museum so that you can reinforce togetherness and the importance of being a family.
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