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being supportive, dufus. You assumed that since she said there was nothing you could do for her, then you should leave her to deal with this by herself. Women don't usually think that way. MEN do, but not women. Instead, women usually gravitate *towards* each other (or to understanding SOs) for emotional support; not close themselves off to be alone. Rule #1: DO NOT attempt to tell her what she should do to feel better. You're not Mr. Fixit; she doesn't want you to find solutions for her problems. She wants you to hold her hand, listen to her woes, let her cry on your shoulder, and hold her close. That's all. Rule #2: DO NOT blow off her emotions as unimportant, unrealistic, or counter-productive. Just let her vent, cry, complain, or bitch; while you stay out of the line of fire. Once she's vented, she'll calm down and feel better. Rule #3: Understand that "no, there's nothing you can do for me" means this: no, you're not a doctor and you can't fix this cancer for me. But I'm, and I don't want you to know how I am; so I'm going to tell you that you can't help, while at the same time I *expect* and *need* you to stand ready to catch me when it becomes too much to handle by myself. So yes, there's nothing you can do FOR me. But there's a whole lot you can do to make me feel better while I go through this by myself. Make sense? Send her flowers, make homemade goofy cards to tell her you're thinking of her, fix her favorite dinner, distract her with and other activities, buy her a bear, mow her lawn or rotate her tires for her, or text her for no reason other than to say I you or hear her voice, ask how she's feeling today, stuff like that. nude woman Gavalem GorgiChapter 2 HeartlandHurt neglects to add the part of the story about the ex cheating a half dozen years ago that lead to their split. She also neglects to add that the ex has exercised financial irresponsibility resulting in her move back in with HH a week after she met new girlfriend (NYG- Oh hell now that we are up to LGBTQALMNOP what's another acronym?) NYG, having fallen for HH and having a terrific time in the fun wonderful that is the honeymooon months, saw no issue with the ex moving in. months later, and assured the ex situation was temporary, NYG also moved in. The first Christmas was happy, and the group was strangely functional. Only one little detail had been overlooked for NYG: Autonomy. Chapter 3 Reality began to set in as "temporary" became 14 months of not a single job interview or rental application for the ex/roommate. NYG was seeing this former family unit reunited and seemingly intact in the same house that had once belonged to just the two mothers and their. It doesn't take a vivid imagination to the unsustainability of this situation. While it's one thing to be reminded of a partner's ex via toaster oven or bad tattoo, having her live with you brings it up close and personal. A sad and frustrating predicament for HH. Tell the ex to get a job and get out? The ex could take the and leave town, her family is out of state, she owns no property here, HH couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Ex is the biological parent for those of you who needed that detail Option #2, tough it out, keep peace with ex and watch what was a wonderful and budding relationship with NYG turn sour as bitterness and resentment began to taint their relationship. horney cougar
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