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that there is anything wrong with the woman your wife has become over the years. She is her own person. An individual who is entitled to different likes, interests and hobbies. How boring she would be if all she did was act as a mirror to you, right? So I think, in a way, she is right in saying: this is your issue. She isn't changing YOU are. She is happy in her personal life. While you seem unfulfilled. You've decided that you want to be closer to her now, because you have nothing once the move on, etc. And I think its incumbent upon you to find fulfillment in your life. Develop your own hobbies, interests and goals. Be happy with your own person. That said this is only one-half of the issue. You are part of a couple. Marriage is a union of two individuals, creating a partnership. So, if the two individuals are whole and happy in their own right, then absolutely the partnership deserves attention and equal importance. The partnership is the other half of the equation and it seems like your wife isn't hearing you in your request to pay attention to the partnership. The partnership needs time, attention and focus too. Not just you as individuals. I think your success, or rather the success of the partnership, lies in the two of you making a concerted effort to nurture the partnership not change the other's hobbies, and individual focus. Start with that. Ask her to set one evening/day aside for the partnership dinner, movie, or whatever you like to do together. I find that walking our dogs after dinner together in the evenings is a great time to connect. Drives in the car together are fabulous there are no other distractions. You can do this! looking to hookup or anything else really
Married 23 years to someone who used to be very loving but has become cold, hard, mean and unaffectionate. I him with all my heart, and I'm to divorce him because I'm afraid I'd regret it. However, I wonder if I'd be giving myself a to be happier one day. Any helpful comments appreciated, any troll comments be ignored. hi good man looking for a good womanI like to look good. I like nice clothes. I like to wear tailored suits, expensive shirts (ermenegildo zegna probably my favorite, though I have others) and I have a collection of footwear that would make blush (gucci, magli etc.) My wallet is a Montblanc my belt is generally Tumi. I always wear french cuffs with a suit. You can always tell executive management from middle management. French cuffs. And I've never worn brown shoes with a blue suit. Ever. On top of that I generally have either a Patek Philippe p or a gold Panerai 8 day power reserve(beautiful watch btw.) on my wrist. When I went to work at one of my first jobs years ago my boss gave all his people a copy of the Brothers guide to dressing a gentleman. I lived by it most of my working life. I get my hair spruced up weekly, teeth cleaned every couple of months. I shave with a straight razor. Though I prefer clean shaven to 'manscaping'. So I get where you are coming from ..I even have you out classed a bit. I'm known to even dress well at home. When I was working from home for months I still much held the same routine I kept when working from the office. I woke up, put on business clothes, sans tie, and went to work. To me, it was just part of getting in the spirit of the work day. But my wife? Her favorite thing to ware around the house is sweats and a tee. Does that make me my wife less or want to have an affair? Nope. I my wife., I have a up. When I was a kid, I was fat. Not just fat, but fat. fat. fat. I hated it and it took years of effort and finally in high school I was able to lose the weight. Those image issues still follow me. So I constantly make myself look the best I can. I think you are insecure. Very insecure. I think you are projecting that insecurity on your wife. I think that is very dangerous to your marriage, and it needs to stop before you have no marriage. If its that big of a deal to you, you need to be talking to a counselor or have couples counseling but cheating is never the way to work it out. And what the fuck are you doing laughing about clothes? Not everyone can afford to dress perfectly. Sometimes you've got to work with what you have. want to get that straight. couples wants for couples
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