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I park my car opening the door, a cool evening breeze sharpens my senses. I collect my walking stick, camera, ganja, lighter, pipe, a pillow, and some water, and locking my car, head for the gate. The breeze stirs the grass, and the full hangs low and pregnant just above the horizon. Oak trees are silhouetted against the fading sunset atop the ridge to the west, while the gathering dark in the east is punctuated by the first evening stars. I walk for a few minutes along a dirt road running north and reach the base of a paved road that climbs to the first rise of the ridge where there is a large water storage tank. This place has memories for me. Waiting for the end of the world (per a supposed Nostradamus prediction) with friends in , dropping acid and camping out under the stars with my friend a few years later, early mornings watching the sunrise and the mating dance of Peregrine falcons, taking of the trees, mountain, and, and feeling alive revisiting this place with my torso brace and neck collar after my accident. One time I was walking down this hill and there was this dog with a tennis ball, he'd drop it and let it roll a few feet, then run and catch it, then drop it again. He was playing fetch with himself! Reaching the water tower, I check to if the pipe Pan stowed is still in its secret spot, finding it I grin at his cool hippie forethought, then head east to the trail that leads along and up the east side of the ridge. Mount Diablo looms large in the distance, a shroud of white cloud hiding its summit. Giant oak trees tower over me, and I commune with them in their stoic silence. Coming to the first switchback, I reach the area that recently burned. The earth is black and in some places white where the fire burned hottest. Lizards and rodents scurry from my footfalls with no grass to hide in I imagine it's easy pickins for the local owls and hawks. The grass and shrubs all burned, but the trees all stand unscathed, this place come back in a couple years. Shefford women wanted onlyI have been with my partner for 1 year. Our relationship is amazing. I am very happy. He cooks, he cleans, he doesn't say hurtful things, I our time together, he is financially secure, etc. The siutation I am facing is that he wants to have a. He wants to have a, yet he doesn't want to get married. I always thought that I would before having. I expressed to him that I want to be married before having. He says "what is mine, is yours." But is this good enough? I feel that he would be a great father, and do not think he is going to cheat on me, (though one never knows).I feel he care well for the. He indicated once, that if we had, then in "the future" he would probably want to be married to establish our family. Another problem is (along the same lines) that he wants me to live with him (I am there every single day) yet he doesn't want me to move in. My first reaction is that maybe this isn't the guy for me afterall. Maybe I need to leave him to search for someone willing to give me the committment I am looking for. But then the other part of me asks, why does everything always have to be -my- way. He is able to care for me and provide me with all the happiness I could want in a relationship. Maybe I would be stupid to give it up just because things don't go exactly how I would like them to pan out. I keep going back and forth with this issue. how important is marriage? I would like some other people's viewpoints on my situation. dating for married people
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