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That's what bothers me about the poly world. The idea that having boundaries in relationships is somehow "selfish". Plenty of people who describe themselves as poly keep separate relationships. Sometimes, there are some worlds that don't need to/shouldn't collide for any number of reasons. I would to date a woman with Mr. V or. It's an idea I find appealing. But if I met a woman, dated her and decided I didn't want us to form a V or quad or something I'd tell everyone honestly. And if she left, well that's just the price I'd pay to keep my established, relationships. I wouldn't make that sacrifice. Ever. I just think that if a person doesn't feel something, they shouldn't do it. going through divorce and need a friendOkay, your life feels like it has gone to hell. Your wife has done something you never forget. But if she is serious about putting it behind her, I would suggest you try to do likewise. Depending on your situation, divorces can take weeks or years. They are very expensive just for the lawyers. Two separate people can not live as well as a couple. Yes you can be happy after a divorce, but it takes time, effort, time, effort and guess what, more time and effort. I have been divorced twice, married for the third time. I learned a lot of things about myself via my two divorces at a price I hated to pay. Every one is human. Your wife did a terrible thing. But she stopped and still told you about it. You have a right to be hurt and pissed off. You don't have to decide anything today. Give yourself time to let things settle out. Let her actions speak louder than her words. Words are important, but actions are a better reflection of a person values. You have asked yourself the standard question, on what did you do wrong. Without knowing your situation, I might say you did nothing wrong. Figuring we ourselves did something wrong gives us something to focus on. We humans are not perfect in this case, you wife is to blame. For even if you were doing something, she had the choice on doing what she did. And lastly, good luck. If you can, go someone byself to work out your issues. Get mad at the world. A good partner is hard to find. don't give up on her too easy. dating online singles
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