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I think the reason for OP's resentment is that she thinks she is doing more than her fair share of the work. Yes, I did read the post where she denies this, but I am going by her actions. My experience is this type of resentment results often result when one person in the relationship believe in the co-chore philosophy while the other believe in the specialization of labor philosophy. By the co-chore philosophy, OP is doing more than her share of the mailing. She is doing his half of the mailing. By the maximize efficiently philosophy, it was her chore to mail, because that was most efficient. You could set the boundary on what it means to be a couple chore on whether or not the gift is from *them*. I don't. I would also consider the mailing of a taxes a couple chore. You should find this consist with the rest of my LTR philosophy which does not place an importance on independence. who wants to try 50 shadesThese people are so good at getting under the skin of others, they even make professional psychotherapists get violent, break the law, etc. Often therapists drop them as patients because they cannot stand the frequently hellish sessions with them in which the patient attacks the therapist for the whole session over no apparent issue. Sometimes they get sucked into illegal sex because Borderlines can be very seductive and charming at first and are good at manipulating others to get what they want. I've had therapists who have done work with Borderlines tell me that one of the ways they start to suspect a patient has BPD is when they feel like they are "walking on eggshells" and are afraid when the time for the patient's session approaches. Remember, these are professionals with years of experience and training who feel like this, and the Borderlines tend to act out far worse with close family members such as spouses and than they do with the therapists. I just did a e search on "BPD therapist law violation" and came up with a few matches. Here's one. Borderline personality disorder, boundary violations, and patient- therapist sex: medicolegal pitfalls TG Gutheil Program in Psychiatry and the Law, Massachusetts Mental Health Center, Boston. The author addresses the issue of sexual relations between therapist and patient and the related boundary violations that are involved in such relations. He points out that patients with borderline personality disorder are particularly likely to evoke boundary violations, including sexual acting out. These patients apparently constitute the majority of patients who falsely accuse therapists of sexual involvement. Therapists who are aware of patterns of errors in therapy and countertransference through education, anticipation, and forewarning can avert the serious outcomes that result from these errors. dating side
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