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The word (fag) has an actual meaning I've been told don't know/don't care ! Personally, I have hated the word since age 11 and the only place I have or would ever use it is here and only then with little fairies that "try" to come across as little bitches. The "label" thing is sickening I would prefer people use my first last or middle name and nothing more. The word fag be charged but rest assured it doesn't compare to the word nigger "nigger" is a racial slur directed exclusively at african american males ! Nothing compares to it. You got little fags in every corner of the world across and around the globe in every ethnicity, but nigger is only used by pure racist and directed at a black. You really are no authority on the word nigger or its use you're not a black. Yes, african americans do use the word when talking to each other-no malice or insult intended but when the word comes out of the mouth of anyone who is not african american, all hell breaks lose. I disapprove of the use of word by anyone but I can't make choices for any adult other than myself. I think the use of this word is a blatant display of ignorance no matter what color you are. Calling a little a fag is nothing but a little ebarassing moment that is short lived but ing a black a nigger is a deliberate attempt to provoke the most hostile response worst case scenario a physical altercation. Most racist who use the word have no concept of the impact. They are ignorant because they think it can be used now like it was used during the slavery when the Black Person couldn't respond or defend his honor. That was then this is now ! Yanakie woman dating comalways have had a problem with being assertive. During dating he found out he could push me and I wouldn't push back. I basiy married my dad. I was afraid of this, and I still am to an extent, for most of our ten year marriage. I was raised with little conflict and my DH was raised being able to argue with his parents. I didn't learn that is was safe to express my opinion, be angry or argue. My husband is kind of scary. He an introverted engineer and can argue circles around me and people. He's so sensitive and touchy that people learn quickly to walk on eggshells around him. I have become MUCH more assertive in the past year and surprisingly, he's backed off quite a bit. He still has the ability to manipulate me and tonight I apologized if I upset him and cringed that I did that. It was on the phone and I felt that old urge to get the connection back. How can this be fixed? I guess, like with the arguing, I have to stop the bulldozing in its tracks, simply refuse it. He seems to thrive in conflict, he even bring up extremely sensitive subjects right in the middle of sex! I simply refuse to even discuss it now or say we can stop and go talk about it outside of bed. So, I guess I am doing much of what I need to be doing, most of the time. It's hard for me because my nature is to be cooperative. I like and getting along. In order to be my own person in this marriage, I have to be willing to fight for my rights, defend myself, stand up to him and win the power struggles by refusing to bend to his. It's stressful. I imagine it's a lot like having a with oppositional defiance disorder. I am guessing that my husband bring the topic up when he's back home. On some level he knows about his issues but he defensively blames everything on others. So this be about me taking an opportunistic jab, not that he actually might have something he should take a look at. My plan is to simply say I realize that have not been the appropriate time to bring that up and not cave. free online dating chat rooms
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