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wanting to be serviced tends to get drained around others, especially in groups. I wonder if you are drained of emotions by the time you get off work??? It seems you step up and use the emotional content when it isn't personal. At work you are paid to behave a certain way. And there are others who observe your work behavior, so you are held accountable for listening, being empathetic. But it doesn't require personal sacrifice from you. Your activities and hobbies are all things a person can do by oneself, does not require much interaction with others. That makes sense given your tendency to introversion. If you are unemployed, then seeing a therapist need to wait for financial reasons? Then at least read relationship or life skill books: Life Strategies by Dr. -(talks about family dynamics being carried forward into your current relationships) His Needs Her Needs (to help you get a better idea of what a woman needs in a relationship) The 5 Languages If you eventually seek CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) then at some point the psychologist challenge you to start increasing social contact. Take initiative to out with a friend. Folloup and make plans a few weeks after that. Really learn how to be there for a friend. Listen to their needs. Help out when they need a hand. Etc. You can totally learn how to tap into these emotions, and become empathetic if you decide this is the person you want to be in the future. You are being really honest, and sound like you have a lot to offer!!!! And learning to communicate and be supportive is going to be paramount to sustaining any future relationship. How would it have changed your life if your parents had actually communicated and been emotionally supportive of you???
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