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You are confused about who's responsible here for the affair. Get this through your skull, SHE is responsible for the affair, no one. You are responsible for your role in what state the marriage was and is in but she decided to fuck someone on the side. She had other options, she chose that one. In taking on all the responsibility you're trying to keep control - if you change, which you have control over then you can fix shit. You're dead wrong. You have no control over her, none and right now you're giving up all your power and allowing her to feel safe. She still has the options and this whole indecisive routine of her's is a way to keep those options open tell you this is working to an extent keeps you dancing and tells you all about these "strong feelings" to keep her option there. This way she gets to go through the motions of 'working' on your marriage until she's well prepared to bolt. You are a in a glass case, the backup plan How's it feel? Well if you want any you need to be willing to walk away. Seriously, you and the family are not some damn choice that's up to her. Fuck, it's up to YOU. don't you want to be worked for, she needs to fight for you too. None of this I'm trying bullshit fuck that. No more romanticizing the part time. Nope, if and when she decides to get her shit together then she has a but you're going to have to a real commitment not speeches. You'll work on being who you think you should be, you're a of your word but you're not taking the hit for her shit. don't let anyone ever tell you another person's choices are your fault and don't ever think that you have some control over their actions place that responsibility where it belongs. Of course she doesn't look worth every effort on your side when you do that does she? But if you don't your not worth any effort at all, because you don't insist upon it. Until you do you won't deserve better. looking for long term relationship or friends
I’ve read everyone else’s replies … you basiy got burned by the others. You shouldn’t settle. I was in a marriage (married -) and after I found out he had an affair and after trying to work through it, the one thing that kept going through my mind was this is my ONE LIFE and I don’t want regrets. I needed certain character traits in a partner and he did no have them. I decided I’d rather be alone than to be disappointed everyday. With that said, you should not settle. However, if you are strict by your requirements, you most possibly be missing a. You say you ‘want’ certain characteristics but when you limit yourself to those only, you are limiting yourself to discovering traits in someone you never imagined. I dated for 10 years … online, dates through friends, etc. In a last ditch effort, I replied to a on. We had one thing in common (hockey) so I sent him a message. I was soooooo done with finding a that ‘fit into me.’ He didn’t seem to posses anything that was ‘important’ to me other than hockey. I was sexually for years (lots of therapy so I’m okay) and it turns out this I messaged on was also a victim. What are the odds? We are still together … be years. My point is that you should not give up and you should stick to the characteristics that are important to you. However, don’t exit a possibility too. We all try to put our best qualities forward but it often turns out that our ‘best qualities’ are just what we imagine them to be. If your mind is closed, you are not open to discoveries. Good luck. it is over i need to get laidI'm no longer crying like a girl :-x get another tutorial from the vet ask them about larger gauge/finer needles (and my apologies to the phobic for saying that word over and over again). On some level I know it's like anything, it takes practice and repetition. My inner perfectionist is telling me I should just be able to do it right the first time out (and the fact that I *did* do it right the first time out makes this even more frustrating!!), but pffft. Anyway, cheers. And Boston_Bean, sheep? Yes, things could always be worse By the way if my little were a human, she'd be Trefusis, that woman Sackville West had the obsessive affair with ( ). get laid tonight
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