Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array women pussy in SpitsinoDo You Believe In Second Chances? I just want to say I am sorry. Something that could have turned out better didn't and it's my own fault. I should have known better that you were not going to be interested in me when we finally did meet. I tried to tell you that ahead of time. I truly understand and have no hard feelings. I suppose I jumped the gun on you and that wasn't fair. If you should read this (I really don't think so), I just want to let you know I'm sorry and miss you. looking to eat and pound older women dating younger men
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Dearest B. You implied recently that you are still looking at these, so I wanted to write to you. I you. The English language fails me when I want to express how deeply, how strongly, I feel about you. I can't even say you're everything I've ever wanted because I never even imagined the existence of someone as wonderful as you. You make me so happy. I love you. Yours forever, V. webcam woman North Little RockSeparated lonely women seeking a real guy Nice girl looking for a nice guy!Looking for a NSA NOT DTF!You must be smoke free to have my attention!I'm a white female and prefer a white male.The more musiy inclined you are, the better! Music is a huge part of my life!!Im a college student at cobleskill.. that's generally about all I can think of right now but feel free to ask me anything. (Except don't ask for my phone number.. that won't come until we get to know each other a bit.) And your response won't get mine without a ! nude women around Seattle Washington women for sex
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