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I have a game of tug going on in my head I need some clarity from you wise folks. One side: my SO I have been talking about moving in together. I'm all for it EXCEPT his 24 yr old daughter lives at home while she works on getting a job. I really don't care for her much. Not being her parent, I don't have that innate for the quirks that this woman has (snarky, messy, irresponsible to a degree). I have wisely kept my opinions about this to myself. The final decision on my moving in has not been necessary since I am unemployed I want to have a job before I move in with my SO. Despite my ability to put it off, there has been an understanding that I would be moving in ish like in the next 3-4 months. To be clear, I DO want to move in with him. It's just that the situation isn't ideal right *now*. Other side: a GF of mine is about to loose her hubby (he's going to die -). She wants to pull up stakes move to to be closer to her daughter to get a fresh start. She wants me to move in with her is willing to cover the living expenses while I continue my job hunt. My GF I are super close I want to be there for her. The tug: My SO knows that I have hesitation about moving in, but only as far as I do not feel comfortable living with him AND his daughter. He still thinks, however, that once I land a job we'll be one big happy family under one roof. He looks forward to it like a kid on Christmas (I am such a fucking gift, ya know). Since his daughter isn't around much he thinks that her living there shouldn't be an issue. As for my GF, she really needs this safe-haven the knowledge that I be there as her friend as her room mate. She has stated that she really doesn't want to be alone a sentiment I can totally understand. The -: My SO be hurt/disappointed if I decide to move in with my friend not him. He could understand a short-term, I'm-just-helping-her-out scenario, but anything longer could really hurt him. If I commit to having my GF come down, I feel like I owe her a commitment of some sort room mates for a year two -. Essentially, I want to please them both (how co-dependent is that) while keeping my sanity their. Maryborough adult Maryborough finderI also learned the value of hard work and independence early. I started working when I was 12 years old and have been working ever since, and I am 62 now. We let them live in our home while we were away because the other alternatives were worse being an absentee landlord or leaving the house vacant, although the way they took care of it I think vacant would have been a better idea. At the time they got married they literally had nothing. When my wife and I got married at least I had a job. Neither of them even had that. There was no way I could have thrown them out and kept peace with my own wife. And yes, we gave them TWO cars when we went overseas both paid for. IF she comes back, and IF he takes her back (two bog "if" statements) unfortunately nothing change. The $ a month is off the table permanently. The offer to train her to take over my business be dependent upon her returning to school at her own expense and getting a degree, then taking the required training in my field and passing the Federal Exam that I be in place by then. I no longer make it easy for her. As far as making it harder for the, doing that is impossible and keeping peace in my own home. I tried that once before with the other (older). He is a bigger disaster than this. As a parent, what is the answer then? Act like Momma Bird and kick them out and cut them off on their 18th birthday? adult finder
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