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Reposting. Hoping for more responses in this forum. Briefly, I have a friend/co-worker whose partner/fiance died from suicide. She asked for my help when he died, as she knew that my father died by gunshot wound two years earlier. She also stated that she didn't have family support, and she didn't, they didn't even come in for the funeral. I said I would be there and talked to her a few times about it in the beginning. Six months later, I am now engaged and was told by my fiance and pastor to give up all opposite friendships. Recently she came to me and asked me about flashbacks and hallucinations and I told her that I was not allowed to talk to her, because of what my pastor and fiance told me to do. I know it was bad timing, but I was told not to talk to any other women. Now the friend is deeply hurt and feels abandoned. I told her I was sorry she felt that way. She has asked me how I could say I would be there and now am not. I told her I cared about her, but that I would only be able to say "Hi". We work in the same building and the atomosphere is beyond tense and we both avoid each other completely. I feel guilty that I told her I wuld be there, but also want to do what my fiance and pastor say is right. This doesn't feel right to me. I've never broken my promises before, but this is going to be my third marriage and I don't want it to fall apart. I've made promises to both of them and I didn't tell my fiance about my friend asking me for help. But the guilt is taking it's toll on me and my pastor is adamant about the opposite friend thing. I can't find a thing that says I can't have opposite sex friends in the Bible. It does say to take care of widows and to not make promises you can't keep, but now I'm told not to? I have been a good all of my life. I had intended on keeping that promise I made, but now I can't. Totally conflicted here. horny old Alvito
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