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and you didn't twirl his fancy. So, rather than waste his and your time, he laid it on the line. Mercenary? Yes. Cold? Yes. Rude? Yes, in a way. But at least you both got establishing his level of attraction for you and the quality of his character out of the way much right off the bat. It's not the way I'd prefer to operate nor is it the way I'd prefer my associates to operate, but it's how a lot of guys DO operate. You can accept that with some sense of humor, a sigh and an "oh well" or you can get all riled up, offended and generalize his behavior to apply to all men as you have done. Not a good idea, IMO. Through cultivating a jaded, simplistic image of all your brothers, you are likely to stereotype perfectly wonderful, loving, classy men as "yet another rude shallow fag" and dismiss them out of hand. Much better, I think, to give everybody a fair to prove themselves and to judge each individual based on his own merit than to assume he's just like the last 5 men that you've met. Too often, I've encountered men who proudly proclaim "I'm not like those other gays" and then whine about being single. It's a form of arrogance, it keeps them isolated. They "hate" men, it keeps them single and they wonder why. Uhm duh Come down from your lofty mountain and join the fray. Have some light-heartedness and some compassion for those of your brothers who are confused or hating themselves. When you encounter those who are well-adjusted and willing to connect meaningfully (whether platoniy, sexually or romantiy), hold on to and those connects. don't be so mission-oriented for finding romance and let it come to you. Realize that you ARE just like "those other guys" because we're not just one hive mind, there's all kinds including those who are just like yourself. adult personals in Bridgeport California CAI have been a cabaret singer in clubs for more than 30 years and I can tell you that a significant amount of humor involves being mean and spiteful to others. Think of your favorite drag performer emcee-ing a drag show. don't we all to hear them rip someone apart, as as it's not us? Look at the nightclub acts of nationally-known performers such as Khriss, Amazing (who is no longer with us) or Nakoma. The basic premise is that, as as someone laughs at what you say, you can tell people, "it was a joke, get over it!" People who are uncomfortable in public forums such as these often laugh more out of nervousness or discomfort, not because they think it's funny. But the performer thinks the laugh makes it OK to be as mean and spiteful as he wants. That's just my little bit of psychoanalysis. I think the problem is that, while we expect and enjoy this kind of venom at a drag show, you didn't expect it here and you took it as bad manners, rather than just the kind of humor we've been blessing by attending these "live" entertainment venues for so years. bi couples
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