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So I am cleaning out my desk and I find this sweetly worded postcard from. "I never got your last name but you changed my life for the better!" It also said that we met at the Bar on Castro. Ok now if he knew my address but not my last name and we met at that sleazy meat market, I assume that we must have had drunk sex. Now I don't know how perfectly well intentioned relationships have been ruined by drunk sex but I I never do it again!!! I am thinking this to myself in the car on our way to our horseback riding date today. "Here is this good looking, wealthy Italian who is really well dressed and if he hadn't sent that postcard I wouldn't even remember him!" I scolded myself (silently). "How other perfectly good men have I lost because of alcohol?" I found out the answer to that too quickly: zero. It turns out that he was the only one to be doing the horseback riding. I was just supposed to watch in awe and wonderment while he had his horseback riding lesson! I even skipped breakfast so that I would not be late, hoping we would go out to lunch afterwards but he had other plans and I wasn't in them! It gets better, I mean worse: He had also invited this other to drive us who just happened to be 10 time more attractive and even had a better body. If I were more trashy I would have been hitting on him. After he starts his riding lesson, I asked the cute if he wanted to go and get a cup of coffee and I needed a muffin to soak up the acid from my first cup of coffee. He was really nice and I am surprized that I didn't try to pick him up. I just felt that was so wrong because I had gone with the other guy who was really just a stranger. Neither one of us remembered the drunk sex night. Now as I think about how egotistical he is, the sex must have been really bad, explaining why I had forgotten him completely. Then I got home, starving and made a BLT which you know is only good while the bacon is hot. One of my computer clients' unemployed boyfriend ed and bitched me out for not working for free. That ruined my meal. I am just having a few beers now, thinking about how much fun it is going to be a cruel as hell cop. (I have an interview tomorrow morning at 7:45 sharp). hot girl Beecher Illinois for sexhere and it would be best to approach from a moving forward perspective. don't spend too dwelling on what has already happened except to give yourself some key notes to work with. In terms of him disappearing for a bit you won't be able to change that. It's very possible he needs time to process things in a quiet and reflective manner. Guilt is a crippling emotion. You did not maliciously do harm. There were two of you emotionally and physiy in the situation; the error was a combination of things between you. As he is taking time for reflection, so too can you. Kink and BDSM are intense activities. It sounds like it was a significant error one that could have been prevented with communication checking in with one another on both the big things and the mundane things every day, since you him that often. Each conversation about wants, needs, desires and fantasies should be talked through to resolution. Both of you have to be willing to slog through it. Yesterday I had a conversation that changed my perspective on something I *thought* I wanted. I would not have wanted either of us to have figured that out in the middle of the scene/play/whatnot. We got to a resolution because I was asked 4 or 5 times "why". That conversation was pursued with intensity and I had to be willing to keep feeding my thoughts until I hit that 'oh wow' moment. If he returns is willing to continue exploring you both need to start nearly exhausting yourselves in discussion over your kink activities. After time you both mature a bit within your play and your discussions be more streamlined you'll make headway easily and comfortably. Even with all the best efforts shit is going to happen. We are humans being. When the two of you come back together you both need to start with compassion and. Return to a bit of vanilla while you work through what happened and how to prevent it. He needs to be reminded of the way your touch and ministrations make him feel and why he puts his trust in you. You need to feel comfortable that he still trusts you. Most importantly to tell you everything even to stop you in the middle of play. sex contact
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