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You have GOT to get help, NOW. Please consider an in-treatment facility. You are in NO shape to be married right now, got it? You cannot continue thinking if/when she comes back, everything be ok. Because it not. You NEED to rid the demons inside you first. Suicidal, huh? That's serious stuff. You have to get your life back in order. Please, seek help. Today. horny ladies McIntosh New MexicoHere is where I believe and that's an honest opinion, not some fun jab to try and bash away where I think you have a control issue and invite drama. Your words I did that with my ex, I said, Ok, here is what I am willing to offer a completely reasonable offer honestly OVER nice he said no, so I chopped off his balls in divorce court it was fun. and I STOPPED. lol I sometimes do poke his buttons But only after he tried to do it to me. Lol its not my fault I am better at it. Lol. I expect a small amount of "that was handled well." or "this might have been a better approach." Now that's just a few but what sticks out is your pleasure in control, words like 'I EXPECT', it was FUN I DO poke and then the backtracking of how you really don't I stopped and then LOL, there are lots of lol's aren't there, minimizing the wrong, it's like you're very dismissive and sneaky at it. Admit to a fault then minimize it. It honestly comes across like there is a part of you that wants to keep drama as high as possible so you can be the rescuer. You don't want to be known as one of the 'losers'. Look, the point of all of this is to someday reach INDIFFERENCE not hold superiority and I really feel you are on one side of that line. You can say I'm way off base but even the fact that you state quite clearly that you didn't EXERT any control shows that you feel you must have it in my opinion. I can go cold deadpan rational and work the issues logiy and I was very successful at it in my dealings in divorce as the saying goes in here, step on the throat..with a smile on your face and a civil tone..but fun? No I did what I HAD to do to protect my rights and my future. That's where I feel we differ greatly you seem to be reveling in this shit. don't pass that on divorce men
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