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~going to the Bar (I think, 1sillygoose, GlitterPig and CuteShyGuy were with me) It was crowded in the patio and we sat on some benches very close to a lesbian couple one of whom was VERY butch. I'm not sure if the others noticed it, but she was positively glaring at us with fury in her eyes. I didn't appreciate it. Just based on her body language, she resented our very existance. She had a huge chip on her shoulder, and I very much wanted to knock it off but she looked like she could have and would have kicked my ass. ~on the flip side I went to the Fest in late. It's a huge outdoor electronic music. There was a drunken disheveled guy that was coming up to random women on the dance floor and trying to wrap his arms around them and kiss them. They would push him away, but he'd keep coming. Then they'd run away and he'd follow them. He did this regardless of whether the girl was with another or not. Finally, a couple of guys had a talk with him and he wandered-off probably to another of the dozen dance floors at the to do it again. Hours later, a petite girl I had smiled at on the dance floor scurried up to me and beconed to whisper in my ear; "Excuse me, I'm sorry, can you pretend that you know me and we're good friends? That bald guy over there won't leave me alone and I just want to get away." I greeted her warmly and asked how she's been and danced with her for a while, keeping an eye out for the bald guy who was obviously watching her (this was an entirely new letch/creep). After a couple minutes, she thanked me and rushed off. I saw the bald guy make an effort to follow, but the dancefloor was crowded and I danced in such a way as to make it difficult for him to navigate past me. An average woman is less capable of physiy defending herself than an average. Seeing things like that, I'm sometimes amazed that more women aren't terrified of men. In a setting, I've had over-zealous "come-ons" myself. It's very uncomfortable, but I have the confidence to be forceful about my personal space when I want to be but it's still uncomfortable. I shudder to think what it might be like if I could easily be physiy over-powered. The dynmic is just different for a going into w4w than it is for a woman going into m4m. looking for a mountain bike partnerit and succeeded. What didn't work trying to take the full load on. Feeling like it was my obligation above myself and what I needed. Buckling down and being the 'good -' wore me down, my business suffered greatly and never recovered, marriage started it's downhill slide. What worked realizing after losing what I thought mattered that I needed to have been a priority in it. That it's OK to say I need help in managing this, to take not only myself but my wife out. That no matter what, this event or series of events is just something that's happening in life it is not my life..if that makes any sense. Mom can help get a care giver if she has the funds, you give what care you can handle. Your friend well you might have to take a lesser role in being there due to your own life. A little less contact and you could probably offer better quality support anyway. Combat this from different angles, how do you reduce your stress as well as handle the stress that just be there. Every day I remind myself that the things I do are by my own chosing, I am not trapped by circumstance. That and doing something that shuts the from thinking about it be it shooting like seattle does, bike riding or planning a trip to Fresno..find it and do it. Think positive, kind of unnecessary/optional and enjoyable something you would normally want to do if you could. Maybe ninja stars at a poster of the husband with bonus points for eyes and crotch. married couples
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