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Your marriage is dying on the vine. You sense it so you are starting to become more sensitive to things. It sounds like you are afraid to rock the boat for fear of what it might mean. Nonconfrontational isn't much of a life, how does anything get solved if you don't confront issues? It doesn't and life loses it's passion. When that happens affairs do happen, I mean you can't find passion at home so where the hell are you going to get it? Suddenly one or the other find someone to "open up" to and since this is a common thing, find someone who seems to "share" the same. I was told the same speach, sold the same of goods. In response I did all the things I thought were what a good hubby should do work on myself, be the solid "good" husband ect..tried not to upset things too much, flowers on a Wednesday "just because", date night, ect looking back I how boring it must have been. I've said it before the things I did were NOT a waste of time but not adding passion to the mix was something I missed. That's not directly sexual, it's the approach to life, unafraid to say what's on my mind, to say "I don't feel that's right", to take chances/risks that might upset the balance. I wasn't a challenge because I wasn't challenging. I no longer made her stop and think. There wasn't any thing about looking at me where someone would say "this dude has it going ON". I was a "husband", not also an independent person and a. I wouldn't worry about snooping or trying to confirm an affair, I'd invest in yourself and less into your husband role. Roll the dice and live life. lonely guy needs female companionship 2nitealso, take all the american POV ehre witha grain of salt. They (guys and women) are conditioned to think of everything as the guys fault. It is aleays the guys fault for not giving teh woman enough, enough sex, etc. they can never understand that a woman someone with zero and even little interest in sex, and just for the resume their gold diggers actually provide sex and fake to start with. Even when ur wife ahd an affair with her cousin, the american POV blame you with not romancing her enough they can never understand the fact that the woman was probably having an affair with her cousin in itself, and as he was probably a good-for0-nothing guys with no job/career prospects, she just married you for the lifestyle etc. they never understand all that. They think all this is fixable by you buying some flowers and dinners. that's what they are used to. They have relationships based on attraction and at least to start with, and that's the basis of their marriages. when theings go bad, they logiy divorce. They cannot understand the resume-based marriage and marriage between families. Which is also why the system is so stacked against you in US. they cannot understand the intricacies. I am south asian, and have seen my share of passionless marriages. Except girls in cities, most middleclass (daughters of professor/professionals) are the worst are alll goody goody, not knowing much about sex, and often more interested in dress/jewelry/-/eating than boys/sex. Most arranged marriages are never based on, often NOT among people who develop any attraction amongst them, and are plain passionless. However, as living arrangements, they surive. Guy gets some sex (esp in the US you cannot think of the average Indian guy having any success in the club/dating scene, can you?) and some mediocre companionship, and a girl with no independent career prospects and average to below average looks (often totally let go after first -) gets a lifestyle. throw in a past unviable romance on her side and you get a failed marriage. I am just being sympathetic and giving you more realistic advice than most others here. I know much of this painfully, and let me tell you, you not come out of this. you lose someof your hard-earned worth, how much is up to you. adult asia dating
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