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Once again, I want to thank folks here for being supportive as I navigate the process of healing from the break-up I initiated about a month ago. I visit here every day and it is so helpful. (I know I haven't explained what the issue was. I'm finding it emotionally difficult to type out here. Thanks for your.) I asked my ex-partner not to contact me. Because I honor others' boundaries, it wouldn't occur to me to reach out to someone who said that to me. He left me a voicemail a week ago. I heard his voice, up, thought about it for a while, and deleted it unheard. I then kicked myself for a while wondering what he'd said. I've been working with my therapist, who affirmed my decision by saying hearing his voice would just reopen the wound, and reminded me that although it was hard wondering what he had said, it would have been harder had I listened. She gave me strategies for good self-care if that should happen again. Regardless of what he said in the voicemail, I know what the message was he misses me and wants me to come back, and sad though the situation is for both of us, that not happen. Today there was a card in the mail from him. He knows I am leaving on a week vacation camping, hiking, and visiting family and friends that includes my birthday. In fact, it was contemplating this trip that ultimately prompted me to make the break because I knew I didn't want him to come with me. So there was the envelope. I picked it up, ed a friend who could listen and give me helpful feedback, and then went out for errands. When I came home I was ready to open the envelope. It was a simple happy birthday note, just one sentence, and saying "-" before his signature. I could feel his heartbreak coming through the words and that is hard because he is a good guy who at this point still has a large piece of my heart. I'm glad I read it so I won't be wondering. Mentally, I said kind words honoring his pain. And I'm honoring my own efforts to move forward I'm getting better, because I didn't spin out. The card is in the recycling and I'm out the door tomorrow. There is nothing more healing than six days of camping solo in the redwoods. I am grateful for the ability to do that and for the people in my life who are cheering me on. Feeling blessed right now. horny women in Saint Marys-'s thread and her concern (that I know has been shared by of us over the years) about sanity in the face of some let's admit it bat shit crazy activities that we choose to do, has me thinking about guilt, and self identification, and SSC versus RACK. For the purpose of this discussion, let's clarify that SSC means safe/sane/consensual and RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. One of the most important things that I have heard in my 4 years in the community is that nothing we do is particularly sane, but if we are aware of the risks and do what we can to mitigate them, we are doing enough. Hearing that from someone who was qualified enough to teach a class instantly made me remember all the times I'd worried about being crazy or how fucked up was my psyche that I craved/needed to be beaten and degraded. And I felt all that lifted. Ok, I'm not necessarily sane. But I am careful and all my partners consent. Why I want these things doesn't really matter because there is a wide world of people who don't have one shred of commonality with me, except that we like to be beaten and degraded. So it isn't my past and it isn't any one thing, so why worry about it. I am capable of having intimate, loving, otherwise "normal" relationships and I have found a way to have the most amazing orgasms of my life. What's wrong with that? I guess my point of discussion is whether or not identifying as SSC or RACK increases the burden of "am I crazy" we allow ourselves to. free adult sex chat
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