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Meh. Ok so Im IAR at the moment but its not going well at all, he hasnt kissed or made love to me in a while and im feeling neglected. Im not sure what Im doing on here but all I know is Im extremely unhappy and i just want a man who will appreciate me and all the things i do for him. I want a romantic man, someone who loves to touch and be touched. Someone who understands the importance of family time. Keeps work at work and can come home and be happy to see his family.
I have a daughter whos under 1 yr of age and shes starting to notice that the vibe changes once daddys around. I just want to be happy and get butterflies again :/
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I'm wondering how everyone handled the aftermath, so i'll post a little background about my situation first then get to my question. My story is simple, met someone and very quickly we became entangled. Jumped into a volatile relationship to begin with (she was fairly unstable, would have anger fits for no reason, throw things when she didn't get her way, her ex when i wasn't around so on.), i chose to overlook all these things and jumped in, i guess i figured i could fix her. Well after we became an official couple, she started spending money from my bank account (i should never have given her access but i did mistake was already made.) at first it was small amounts here and there, then it started getting out of control. When she was confronted about it she became angered and starting coming at me with nails, or whatever she could grab. I avoided hitting her (although at the end of there a few times I gave it some serious thought), I'm not a small guy 6' pounds, spent a lot of time at the gym, I knew if it ever got out of hand i'd end up doing some serious damage, so instead i chose to walk away, or take the hits and head out of the house for a few hours. SO finally I opted for divorce after 8 months of married life. Problem is I did not have a prenuptial agreement, and stood to lose a lot; at the time I had an apartment, several cars (a bit of a collection), and so on. At the start of the proceedings she said I was emotionally unavailable, always working even when at home (this part is somewhat true) and it seemed that things were going increasingly in her favor, I stated my side and how terrible life with her had been but it almost fell on def ears. So my lawyer decided the best thing to do was to sit down and settle, i was given a choice between giving her proceeds from a sale of my apartment or my life savings ($75, total), at the time my Apartment would have been worth roughly $ , so i opted in for the life savings, i wanted this to be over, but what my lawyer failed to tell me is that i would be paying for her lawyer fees as well (ooops mr. lawyer how kind of you). The fees totaled up to be over 45k between mine and hers i hear that isn't much according to some people, but it didn't matter. The only way i could get that money was pulling it off all my credit cards. So here i was 45k in debt real fuckin original(what happened to the rest? I'm glad I don't write directly into here.) She was partly because she was afraid it would hurt or physiy harm her. We were talking while I was sitting on her chest, to give her an idea of what my full weight felt like, and partly to put her in a mindset of deeper submission to me. But part of her fear was, I believe, and existential one, a fear of loss of self and the ego, that her consciousness would be submerged and reduced to a single point, her world reduced to me and my sex and my need to be pleased. Eventually she consented, and as I propped up her head with pillows and moved forward, pinning her arms beneath my knees and slowly lowering my full weight onto her, the feeling came on hard, galvanizing me, as if my body was some kind of conduit for this divine electricity. The physical and the psychological sensations were beyond intense, as was the visual of her pinned beneath me, looking up into my eyes, working her mouth, sucking my clit and pushing running her tongue along its base. It was a triumph of the self, of myself and my sexuality. And as I started moving my hips and bouncing on her, fucking her, not just her body but her soul itself, hearing the nasty wet smacking noises and her occasional whimper when I bore down on her too hard, the feelings became too much for me and I started cumming continuously, and I experienced that same loss of self I think she feared, I became a pure awareness unencumbered by thought, I was one with my body and my sexual power, I felt like a Goddess must feel. I heard someone screaming in the distance, and realized it was me , I snapped back to myself to that I sitting on my knees my hips bucking wildly in the air, I bore back down on her hard and gushed into her mouth, wave after wave of orgasm rocking my body, until I finally collapsed forward, sobbing, tears running down my face, her still beneath me, working on me, easing me back, sucking gently on my vagina and massaging its still spasming walls with her tongue yes life has been good. usa online dating
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