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It sounds to me like you are both in a rut, a rut you might be able to get out of or not, but it would be worth at least trying to change these patterns, right? It seems like you've lost your connection to each other. And no wonder!!! Depression, opposite schedules, a, you have to WORK at connecting to each other. And I can kind of where he might be coming from everything in the relationship right now seems like a chore. I bet you are correct that you don't talk much about this and that and your day, but I also bet he feels like you talk about all the negative stuff a lot your sex life, you 'talk' about 'not talking' I bet he's just trying to keep the peace. I'd honestly take the 'relationship talk' and the 'sex talk' off the table right now. What both of you desperately need is FUN, with each other. When is the last time you just simply enjoyed each others company, laughed together, held hands? Intimacy leads to sex, not the other way around. Get a babysitter and take some time for the two of you alone. I absolutely this blog post, and it has wonderful marriage tips: What you are saying makes me think of #10. Perhaps he's thinking of you two as permanent, but you aren't? It sounds like he felt quite insulted that you'd ask him something like that (though two weeks of silence is way overboard). I think you've both developed some bad habits. But you know what's great about habits? They can be broken, and replaced with better habits. It takes work, but aren't you and your family worth it? free sex White Plains no registrationI make no excuse for spnynx's gender bias, as I've yet to any indication of it. Beware that eye roll, didn't your mother ever warn you they might get stuck that way? @@ So, forgiving her means giving her a free pass? She cheated must be taught a lesson? If he doesn't divorce her, she'll never learn? So, it's a public service? Well, anyone issuing a hard spanking should make damned sure their own hands are clean. He continually overrode her pleas for his time, giving himself a free pass to be for 1 year, starting 2 months after marriage, after 4 years of co-mingling families. Break that down by weeks, days, minutes/seconds; I'll leave the dramatics to a courtroom, or someone who loves math/has a calculator. Sphynx argued that his actions were tantamount to a bait switch. His DW repeatedly articulated her objections; he overrode her. It's as if changing her status from SO to spouse actually devalued her standing in his eyes. In frustration, she turned elsewhere, which was % wrong. But to be fair, he played a part in the harsh, but not unpredictable blow back. He didn't cause it, but he was a factor, and he owns this, as she owns her shit, which is a good start. He thought he had her tied down. She wasn't going anywhere. He could throw it in her face (and probably did) that he supported her in her dream, so she owed him. I say, that's apples oranges. Hers required far less time, she probably tended to the while doing it. It's hardly the same thing. Their top priority is to tend to the relationship, like 2 birds nurturing defending their nest, especially when little ones are nestled within. Marriage is no free pass. If anything, the stakes are even higher. Have they reached a point of no return? The OP's is that they can save this. You say they not only can't, but shouldn't. NOW who's showing a bias? I'm with the OP in hoping they can. Counselors follow THE CLIENT'S lead, not their own personal feelings/biases. Ignoring your SO. Bad. Ignoring your spouse. Worse. A wo/- is like a garden. Tend to it, it'll be more than happy to feed you. Ignore it, it'll get away from you. cheating girlfriend
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