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i want you to be my fantasy of wanting to leave. Can't find the post, but somewhere in this thread the OP said she's been wanting to leave for a time. More importantly, there's more than one kind of blind spot. You and others accept her statement that he's a great guy and it's a relationship. Yet how often do we posters who say: My relationship is PERFECT, except for cheating/lying/drinking/violence or some other horrifying issue. While those be extreme cases, the fact remains: a lot of people have trouble seeing their relationship objectively. The OP has given it years. There are dozens of subtle ways people can suck the life out of each other. Read about conflict averse relationships: they can be stifling, inauthentic, deadly boring, and hell to get out of because both parties are too damn nice. The OP doesn't really know what's wrong, but feels like she's in prison. That doesn't necessarily mean she or her partner is the bad guy. But to me, it DEFINITELY means she should move on. ago I had a relationship with an uber nice guy who was crazy about me. I remember struggling to explain why I wanted to leave and am grateful to a friend who told me I didn't need a reason, didn't owe the world an explanation. I now that he was clingy, dependent, hadn't developed his own personality and was feeding off my energy/interests/ideas. Nicest effing in the world, but I'd have been institutionalized if I'd married him.
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