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Thanks for the proofreading at no cost to me, haha. I should've stated: Growing up causes of us to internalize the pain and criticism targeted our way by those who have no real stake in our lives. That internalized suppression of embarassment or outrage or sadness hardens when those close to us respond warily to our inherent sexuality or perceived identity defect; a tumor is born after the constant, unwarranted critique becomes too much, most times requiring psycho-therapy to halt its growth and shrink its impact on our individual lives. But when we let that emotional malignancy go without recognition of its negative effects on life, it taints the way we ourselves, obviously, but unfortunately it warps our perceptions of those around us. It's like a world where you always believed (and were taught) that pixie dust is the magical ingredient in gasoline that runs our cars. Your reality is skewed and skewered and leads to paranoia towards most things once the wool has been from your eyes about the ridiculous lie given to you about real life from people in all circles. The last paragraph of my initial rant was poorly constructed. But now given a second shot at it, I sense more how difficult it is for people tormented by inferiority complexes set in effect over years of unhealthy feedback about yourself to cope. You aren't the right gender or are damned with the wrong sexual tendency or display too much or too little skin pigment drumming up criticism about your core identity inextricably tied to your personality and the lens through which you view life. I guess if we stop hating ourselves, singularly, we have a better to treat others in this world acting as innocent bystanders to our lives with respect and kindness and some civility. Hate yourself, bottle the hurt, refuse to examine the emotional handicaps within and you'll be the next person to prompt someone like me to rant, digress, and rant some more about the subtle things humans do to tear down others. Addendum: Christ, thank you for braving that stream of hypothetical thought. I think I needed to clear a blockage or something. just sex 71841get a JOB and damn fast someone please correct me where I'm wrong!: You have health benefits for now, lousy as they are, it's better than nothing. You'll have to take leave from work for surgery and recuperation. you get back to work within a month? I don't think so. So that means you'll have to pay for your health benefits out-of-pocket. How much of your premium does your employer pay???? If you don't pay this FULL premium (including your employer's portion of the payment) for subsequent months you're off work, your health benefits cancel. Then you'll have a lapse in coverage. You do NOT want a lapse in coverage!!! Even if your DH gets a job somewhere during that time, WITH benefits, you won't automatiy be signed on and receive full benefits (because you had a lapse in coverage AND you have a pre-existing condition). There'll be a waiting period I forget how, 6 months, 12 months, something. They can't deny you for a pre-existing condition, but they don't have to enact your coverage on day one (of his eligibility with the new job, usually 90 days), either. As far as I understand the current laws, the only way you can maintain coverage with no lapse, is if you KEEP your coverage for a few months yet, HE gets a job with benefits, and you don't need to use that new coverage until he's past the 90-day probationary period with his employer. His new insurance must go into effect no more than 30 days after yours cancels. Play it safe, and make them overlap. (When this happened with DH, he'd been paying $ /mo for coverage. His employer paid the other $ /month. We got damned lucky his employer listed him as "approved leave" rather than FMLA on their records. As such, they continued to pay the premiums for the six months he was off work.) wants for a travel partner
lady chat in Jemaa Des Haoufate just stop all contact with the mystery woman. If you feel you're "broken," what makes you think you're in any position to be in a relationship with anyone? She wants to change but the continues because you accept it. I can't imagine a counselor wouldn't have advised both of you about this, unless you're not sharing a detail about YOUR behavior??? Draw your boundary and tell your wife what you no longer put up with or you have to walk away. She has to know the consequences. But whatever you choose to do, sneaking off to have emotional sex with your old flame is deceitful and the wrong way to leave a relationship. The emotional footprints you leave behind have a ripple effect on others in life and you have that on your conscience. If you're planning to end the relationship, do it with and dignity. Start a new relationship after you've healed and done you're "me work." only if you like big guys looking for a gf
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