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I apologize for top-posting without having posted much. I have been reading regularly since over a year ago, so I am very familiar with the process. Since this is an forum, filled with strangers, this is whose opinion I would really like at the moment. I want to take a poll. My girlfriend and I had a huge fight this morning. It was a continuation of a discussion we had last night. First, some background. I am in my mid-twenties, she is in her mid/late thirties. (The age difference is only peripheral to this I think). We have been together for about 14 months now. What is important is that, though I have been out to everyone in my life for most of my life, I only came out to my parents about a month after the two of us started dating. They are (as am I) from a different culture (let’s just say it constantly ranks with Saudi Arabia in terms of homophobia) and took it super hard. I am, however, an only, and my parents (especially my dad) me a lot. I know this. This is why, even though it was terribly painful to me do this, we have stayed in contact and have kept out relationship much the same. They told me that they did not want to hear anything about my girlfriend. I obliged, except when asked direct questions. Then I made it clear that she was still in my life and that unless they want to “go there”, they should maybe not ask such questions. I wanted to give them some time, and then slowly start to force the issue. I know that within the next year or so, I would insist that she be accepted and treated with respect, or my relationship with them would suffer. I figured a couple of years is a reasonable amount of time for them to get their bearings. My girlfriend and I were planning to move in together this month, something I did avoid telling my parents. I think they would misunderstand the move to mean that I am engaged to her or something like that (again, cultural) whereas the two of us are just “trying it out”. I her, but I have never lived with someone, and I do have a bit of a commitment issue, so needless to say this is all scary (though also exciting, of course). Bottom line, I did not want the added pressure to this whole situation of dealing with my parents at the same time. I wanted to tell them after we did it, and it worked, and it had been a couple months. women of Waltham
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