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I'm not sure how everything got to this point but it's obvious there were some deep divisions before you guys moved in together. Lesson one: A sad part of divorce is the parents no longer have say how the other parent well parents. Even the ex who's filed for emergency custody has no real say, she has to force the courts to say and pulling that card sucks. Lesson two: Get down to the real issue here. The problem isn't behavior, that is a symptom. These are being torn apart by the rift and your opinion about how to raise them is contributing what you're asking for is a luxury, for everyone to act like fucking adults and come to the some symbiotic relationship of parenting but it's NOT reality. Lesson -: This should have been dealt with BEFORE moving in but that cat is out of the bag, admit the mistake and take credit for it. Now what do you do? Ok..enough arrogant, cocky lesson talk. I don't where you've sought real help, you know the kind of people paid to give advice a person you both can sit down and explain the issues in details, give a real history, poor assumptions you guys might be making a common one is "if this make me happier, my kid(s) be happier" that's a cop out. The real truth is that just like adults, have their own opinion on things..they are justified in being unhappy about a split and just as justified about not wanting the parent to have a person in their life that they not get along with. It needs to be considered even when the turmoil comes from a batshit crazy fucking ex. So my real advice is seek some real professional help, shop around and find someone you both are comfortable with and get family and counseling and if your reply is 'we can't afford counseling right now' oh, one hardcore internet bully slap to you, this shit is more important than whatever you need to cut. As far as the legal mess that's for your boyfriend to address and it's a consequence that should have been evaluated as part of the risk in this kind of situation. Get help..I wish the luck discreet older woman wanted
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