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Even if it were to happen or not, it is but a minor side issue in this drama. If it does occur the divorce focus only on this and the underlining problems continue to fester and make for a bitter divorce. Not only is your focus twisted but you are most likely suffering from what I like to selective memory. The both of you have gone through a hell of a lot in this spiraling dance of death of a relationship. You both have forgotten how to be civil with each other, loss of mutual respect. That is the first to go when communication breaks down. In his defense of his despicable actions, he is worn down and frustrated in this marriage. You have two choices, arm yourself with new behaviors when confronted with adversity or continue to do the same failed behaviors, go read or get counseling on how you set rules of engagement. You are acting on here, exactly how you deal with problems in your marriage. Instead of focusing on the break down of communication, your focus is on the by products which are spun off from this problem. You started this story as a self sacrificing martyr, but I sense that is not really the case. Whenever you suppress feelings and thoughts they have the nasty effect of erupting elsewhere. He in turn is responding and behaving poorly in turn because he too is imagining the worse also of you. You both are feeding off each others responses and escalating matters. I an impending disastrous storm unless drastic measures are not taken. It is now the lull before. Vernon married but looking
Might I inquire did you do any research as to the extent of what you can indeed do without causing damage? Forgive me some things just make me wonder how safe is it? CBT and coffee enemas are prime examples. Nipple torture another. IF my partner were to ask me to give him a knee I would be tickled pink and then punch them in the arm, stomach or thigh for not divulging he had kinky inclinations sooner. For me I enjoy (and have for years) various forms of pain. I enjoy sensations. I enjoy extremes. Mind anticipation to the point of mind fuck. The thrill of receiving is as great as the thrill of giving for me. I tend to get off from the other person getting off or at least it helps a great deal to enhance. Plus it is what my partner needs. I am inclined to try almost anything as as it does not involve scat or non consent. Plus power control and mild humiliation make me hot too. One more plus I to one day receive female sounding. I would not be adverse to a skilled person performing so on me even for a demo for a group. So you sound on your own. What started you into it? Would your SO be receptive if she watched you once or twice? Maybe have her stroke you a few times while it is in there? Oh I bet it would feel so cool to feel some hints of the hardness of the with the flesh of the cock. Sorry for length of reply, but you asked. :) free erotic phone chat ksabout the touch issues. Does anyone touch you, during a typical week? I think you're all kinds of crazy but touch-deprivation could be a part of it. Get a manicure. It look nice and someone touch the heck out of you for an hour, hand and arm massages, business like skin on skin. But when you are deprived it can make you feel sane again. A gentleman's manicure, if you don't know about those. (No polish ) Then find some therapy. It's worth the money. Your attraction to this girl you barely know is toxic and unnatural. don't feed it. Distract yourself. Cut all contact. And just plain leave the poor girl alone: you are just focusing on her to distract yourself from some inner pain you don't want to face. You don't necessarily have to face it; but you have to fill your hours with activities so that you can become grounded and normalized. You are way off balance. Swing dance., inexpensive, good exercise, they usually give dance lessons around 8 and go until 11 so it isn't outside a work schedule, and you change partners every round and people touch hands arms and backs. Your head spins around a lot so it be easier not to think or fall into your obsession. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or old folks home, lots of other lonely people who can help your perspective. Are you getting what other people are saying, about how creepy this is? Do you count the hours between other events of your life? Chemistry labs? Eating artichokes? Seeing a bluebird? the best dating sites
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