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When I worked in security, we learned this fascinatingly simple thing they ed Escalation of Force (they even had a cute little professional poster like the kind we had in grade school, except about the proper way to beat people). Anyway, sometimes you tease me because you say I think you act too mean. So now I tease you for accusing me of acting too nice. I think in any situation there are *stages* of response that make sense. In a situation that begins at a low level, the response you detailed IMHO is too. What if the women wasn't even aware that she knew people, and all it would take to turn her to being pro rights was realizing someone close to her was a lesbian? In that case, the best thing you might be able to do would be to friend her and be out, and that could be all it took to open up her world. But if you start out at your stage, then you almost certainly guarantee that she hate all people forever, which seems counter to your stated purpose of having real multiculturalism (and not just some bullshit on paper that no one actually respects, like, say, civil rights for people of color if anything, libertarianism tells us that having big bro put things on paper is not the right direction to go about it). On the other hand, the dude in the bar who kept groping your friend deserved what he got, because a real, concrete person in his own sphere of existence asked him to stop what he was doing and yet he continued to physiy her. So fuck that guy. He started out at a higher level of force, and the appropriate response was in kind. 2 girls looking for someone to hang with
you are going to have to also accept from your husband. I don't really buy into your sales pitch, I don't % you as doing this out of choice but more out of need. I think there is going to be a time where you have to do more than just admit your sins to keep your marriage a time where the balance of power so to speak be greatly shifted. Where you have to be willing to put forth effort to show you really WANT the marriage..not just avoid being a single mother with an absent father. You are asking a who not have any legal responsibility toward a to take that on, to put himself in a position of having to support that for the next 20 yrs even should you decide to breach the trust of this marriage again. Its not important you convince me but as someone who's been in his shoes.. I'd look at what you say sideways I might nod, I might really want to believe you but you'd have to have come across MUCH better in person to convince me to even give it a try once I get past the initial shock. This isn't a situation where you came to him to save your marriage you were just about forced. That stated, you chose the right course of action, but I'd give that a lot less weight because it wasn't somthing you broke off..it was something that was broken by pregnancy. I'm not saying this to bash you, I'm saying this as someone who has been cheated on..and apologized to and told how much of a mistake it was..and yet I could still the core selfishness that placed under the pressure led to an affair. That does not excuse my role, nor your husband's but I do you needing to change in order for this marriage to work mainly stating where YOU went off the rails. What I is your agreed to wrongful justifications of why. I you searching for your HUSBAND'S shit to work on to avoid reoccurance. Honest gut reaction, fuck you, worry about your OWN shit. How about looking at where YOU wasted opportunity to keep your marriage intimate. It sounds like your hubby understands he screwed the pooch..I don't a whole lot more than "I fucked another guy" as your end. I you realize you did A LOT more than that. Good luck seeking mommy son role playexploded into an angry rage it really surprised me and it felt like I'd been taken over by some other being. It's one of the big reasons why I have a meditation practice now the practice gives me a gap between feeling/thought and action. I think it's possible to live non violently, but it's very difficult and takes personal diligence - people don't do that All the violent images out there in media land don't help either. chinese girl
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