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-, Everything was fine. We were in my apt for a while before moving. There were no real quarrels or fights. As far as me making money, Im renting my place out to cover the mortgage and common charges. NO extra money is made. He knows what the mortgage and common charges are and he knows what my tenants pay. The action in the bed is just as regular as before (by regular i mean in frequency) I still cook, I still clean, I still do the laundry. I feed/walk the dog. I buy the groceries. I dont know what happened. Its like as as we moved in all hell broke loose. Like I said, I asked for him to join in looking at apartments even on weekends when he wasnt working. His response "I work all week underground, Im tired, I want my weekends" so what am I supposed to do with two weeks to move? Im far from controlling. I ALWAYS ask his input. I ALWAYS give him days to mull over a topic or decision as he does me. I didnt back him into a corner as one poster suggested. He walked into that corner. I dont like the feeling of havign no where to go and little time to figure it out. I promise it wasnt until we moved in to the new place where he started this behavior. He smiled everyday he came home in my condo. We out ate out, I cooked most of the time. did the laundry As for marriage, we spoke about it. Im not ready for it and neither is he. We are okay with that. That has never been a point of contention. just really good friends
In order to seriously broach this subject, you're going to have to tell him about the monitoring software, and he is going to be royally pissed and try to make the argument about that. On the other hand, I can say that porn viewing, like any other addiction you can name (alcohol, gambling, shopping, phone sex, World of Warcraft, even web-surfing), if carried to excess, damages a marriage or LTR by taking time and energy away from the union: the more compulsive and the more time, the worse it gets. He needs to realize that his viewing is getting seriously compulsive and is not in his own best interests, let alone yours. Also, that it's not really any different in the run than alcoholism or what-have you, in its negative effect on his life and marriage. But how exactly you're going to bring that up tactfully without his hitting the roof and denying or defending the porn as harmless is a head-scratcher. Maybe e up one of those checklists for determining whether you're addicted to porn, and have him read it? Emphasize it's not about depriving him of enjoyment, even porn a few days a week, but about getting it back more into proportion to the rest of his life and enjoyments. bored and looking for some new friendsEven so, I everything works out for the best, however that ends up looking, and I'll think thoughts of solace in your direction anyway. ;-( As for recipes, well, there's the one I've got which almost melted my eyeballs out of their sockets, but that is easily moderated by not being daft enough to glob in a bunch of chopped habaneros. Hmph. Anyway, ranch style chili. Based on something in one of my magazines, which I don't remember the name. Uses pork shoulder, but is easily adaptable for vegetarians via beans and textured veg protein: 3 lbs pork shoulder, cut into 1" cubes cup chopped bacon 1 cups chopped onion chiles, chopped, to taste (I used 13 habaneros. This is lethal.) 2 TBL cayenne 2 TBL kashmiri chili powder 1 TBL ground cumin seeds head of garlic, minced cloves only 2 TBL brown sugar 1 can (28 oz) Muir fire roasted tomatoes, chopped 3 cups veg stock 2 x 16 oz cans of red kidney beans S + P S+P the pork, set aside. Cook the bacon until it's crispy, set aside. Drain off most of the fat (save it), then brown the pork in it, set aside again. Add some fat back in, saute the chilis, onions, and spices until they start to brown. Then add the garlic and brown sugar, saute a little more. Then add everything except the beans, cook low 'n' slow until tender and done, scrape the bottom of the pot periodiy. This takes maybe 90 mins or so, depends on the meat. Then add the beans and heat through. Serve with sour cream, shredded cheese, avocado, sions, chops, whatever you like. If you do go the fire alarm route with habaneros, have lots of ventilation going on! And who knows, maybe safety goggles too. Wish I thought of that. :-p dating site
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